Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Grievances & Bunny Aspirations

So there I was
sitting in the dining hall, balancing an orange on top of my head
whilst reading Marx
blending comedy, absurdism and communism to cure 
the maladies of institutional dining
I was surprisingly good 
at this believe it or not
and I learned a lot about 
estranged labor and alienation
I should write a culinary manifesto
really I should
attempting to incite a revolution at the Deece [our dining hall]
abolishing the practice of mass producing scrambled eggs (because you know, eggs are something personal), and watering down pasta sauce,
I would petition for consistent refills on barbeque sauce, the 
introduction of broccoli & asparagus , constant supply of arugula,
more fresh mozzarella, the correction of labels
and most importantly the addition of cranberry sauce to the condiment lineup
because, despite popular belief
it is an all year round food
best eaten out of a Tupperware in my dorm
it's not weird, just delicious
for last week the "Vegetarian Potato Leek Soup" actually had pork fat in it
and unbeknownst to me I tried it...
anyhow, I was sitting there with Marx by my side 
he was whispering in my ear, and as we were sharing that intimate moment
I saw a girl with two huge plates
of iceberg lettuce, and nothing else
I was baffled to say the least, 
even though I was the one with the orange on top of my head, she was still an odd sight
I mean, I hate all the food here more than the next person
but just lettuce? yuck
she sat down and began to slowly stuff the lettuce under the table into some orifice
very incognito
although I figured out she was packing the lettuce in a Tupperware 
for some late night salad snacking
but hey, who am I to judge?
at that moment I had a large baggie of Rice Chex and 2 oranges tucked away in my tote
thats what I call primary sustenance
I wanted to believe she had a bunny hidden in her purse
for that is what I would do if I had a bunny
I would name him something classic, like Frankfurt, maybe Brussels
and bring him to the Deece, he would eat a plate of lettuce 
and carrots and celery beside me
distracting me from my pending malnutrition 
as I enlighten him about Marx and Rubens and the wonders of cranberry sauce
we'd be cranberry sauce aficionados
he would be the ultimate library buddy and confidant
cuddling up in a comfy chair beside me
I would no longer be the girl with the heels
but the girl with the bunny.

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