Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Midnight Bedtime.

I find that in college it has become
increasingly hard
to get a decent amount of sleep
when the obscure art history and
Dada readings pile up
my poor roommate usually falls asleep in chemistry class
every Monday, Wednesday and Friday
and has to drink caffeinated tea to stay awake
which makes her act worse than drunk
mint tea is like vodka for this girl
as she plows through her English readings
even though at one point in my life
I had to wake up in the early morning darkness
for zero period gym class that was at 7:30 am
(that was the bane of my existence)
who wants to do yoga that early in the morning?!
yes, downward dogs, baby cobras when the toothpaste taste
was still fresh on my tongue
and my eyes had not fully become accustomed to the light
it seems like we all find it difficult to wake up for our 9am classes
I guess its just harder to have to leave your room
and probably wander to the cold bathroom
to just sit in someone else's pee (yucks)
in the city I would have to actually commute
and sleepily take the subway instead of walking for 5 minutes to class
maybe the proximity of everything is not a luxury after all
alls I know is that a midnight bedtime is a blessing
even when some people are playing
aggressive house music
till the wee hours of the morning
and screaming on the quad
me and my roommate are old ladies
and like to catch our zzzs
a midnight bedtime is optimistic,
but what can I say, I'm a dreamer.

Socks and The Like.

Dear World,

Finger and toe nail polish
should always match
because if your toes are pink
and your fingernails are green
its like wearing mismatched socks
I just hate mismatched socks
like purple polka dots on one foot
and blue checkerboard on the other
and then when its shown off
it makes me simply crazy
wearing mismatched socks
is such a Vassar thing
I'm somewhat of a sock purist,
black socks all the time
the occasional pink zebra print
or music note pattern when I'm
running low and am avoiding the laundry room
because laundry makes me severely depressed
as does having to write research papers
but, I must count my blessings,
at least my socks match


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Classics on a Gloomy Day

I'm sick,
like wake up at 3:14 am and walk to the bathroom to blow my nose
and get a drink of water because my throat hurts so much sick
like sleep with a roll of toilet paper and Vicks under my pillow
because I've lost all normal function in my nose sick,
it's not a pretty sight when coupled with the downpour
that has plagued Poughkeepsie for the last two days
but I've found joy in other things today
the Classics,
well, at least the classics as I know them
which obviously involve food and nostalgia
since that is essentially what I'm made of
today I had cornflakes for breakfast
good ol cornflakes, which I sliced a banana into
and it made my morning just a bit better
that and the fact that my sociology professor
played the "smooth mellow beats" of LL Cool J
while bopping along to the beat in class today and doing an
almost fist pump
it was a beautiful sight
anyhow, the cornflakes were so great because they are a classic
it was definitely the first cereal I ever had
ask any Hispanic about cornflakes,
and they'll share that intimate connection that I have
"ahhh yes" they will say "con-flay"
just the way my grandma would say
just the way their grandma would have said it
"con-flay", and from then on all cereal comes to be known as "con-flay"
Cocoa Pebbles?:"con-flay", Lucky Charms?: "con-flay",
Raisin Bran?:"con-flay"
don't get me wrong, I love Cocoa Pebbles as much as the next person,
probably more (since I'm obsessed with cereal)
but Corn Flakes reigns supreme, like the rooster says "original and best"
with two big spoons of sugar and small banana slices,
what great texture
I've moved on to bigger and better things
like 3 packets of Splenda in my cereal instead of real sugar
(also obsessed with Splenda, I consume about 6 packets a day)
but the Corn Flakes have stayed true to me, yummy, satisfying and classic
like Strawberry Shortcake ice cream pops
I was totally craving one today
the mix of those little crumbs, and the chemical pink ice cream enveloped by the vanilla
on the inside simply makes me smile like a little girl again
sadly, Vassar does not keep its ice cream machine well stocked (boo)
and I had to settle for what I thought was a classic ice cream pop
like this ^, with that hard chocolate shell and soft vanilla inside
that just reminds me of Astoria Park, rolling down hills, and climbing trees by the East River
but the ice cream machine failed me once more!
false advertising, I got a fudge pop instead,
no smooth chocolate shell, no mushy vanilla ice cream inside
I was defeated, eating it on my way back to my dorm
grumpily reflecting on the lack of vanilla in my life
when, alas! I found that the sad little fudge pop had a vanilla center!
and at that point I felt simply triumphant
I miss Flinstone push up pops
they were orange and purple, and simply delish
ah to return to the 90s
when the freezer was always stocked with various freeze pops and treats,
frozen pizzas and TV dinners with the brownie on the side
now all I have in my freezer is a frozen burrito and 3 dumplings, sad
it was always so hard to push that thin plastic handle up when it was still freshly open
it took patience, but was so worth it
then the orange would melt down the cardboard sides of the pop
and create sticky hands,
that reminds me of summer
sticky hands always made it easier to show off on the monkey bars
Push pops, jump ropes, jungle gyms, Razor scooters and climbing rocks
sounds so good right now in this late March chill
when all I can think about is declaring a major, and planning out the next four years of my life
with this background noise about Russian Futurism and Post-Futurism
all I know is that I'm living post-90s and I'm not liking it one bit.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Back from my Hiatus: Inspirations

Spring Break is over
the city was an oasis for the last two weeks
which explains my blogging hiatus
the 6 hour walks from my house to
Union Square, to Soho and the West Village
and back again sort of wore me out
seeing as the most exercise I get at Vassar
is walking to the Deec, or maybe to the Krafted Cup
to fill up on coffee, it's just plain sad
anyhow, I'm back home
I just couldn't resist, break did end a mere 4 days ago
but it still feels so good to be sitting at the kitchen table
eating a bowl of Pops (yummers)
anyone else wonder why the cereal bag for Pops is silver?
I must solve this mystery
I must also report that my Lent promise is over
because my mom baked a pistachio cake some time ago
with yellow cake mix, a pack of pistachio pudding
and topped it with confectioner's sugar
my life was amazing when I ate those
2 and a half slices of cake
and was still good when the immense stomach ache set in
but now, I'm being a good girl
waiting for my mom to make me some fruit salad
(if only I had some kiwis)
anyhow, since I'm home I'm feeling the love and even though
spring was just torn away from me
(today was 37 degrees) and I was wearing shiny leggings
that absorb the cold and make me just about feel
worse than being naked in a snowstorm
oh, and open toe cage shoes
after the walk my little toes were numb
and I suffered all the way down Houston
boo at this cold front!
speaking of Houston
one beautiful day over Spring Break
I was probably on my way to get
mocha blackberry swirl no sugar ice cream
from Dunkin Donuts (my new ultimate ice cream obsession, which is probably a lie,
seeing as I'm also obsessed with Love Potion #31
which seems to have been discontinued,
and Bananas Foster & Red Velvet Cake ice cream from Two Boots,
and Sinless Cake Batter from Coldstone,
and Turkey Hill Party Cake
basically I'm obsessed with any ice cream, so sad
and if you could not tell, I haven't had ice cream in a long time
and am suffering from a nasty bout of withdrawal, talk of vices over now)
so on Houston, I saw this:

and I thought it was quite funny
since god knows this model is not convincing me to
buy this sad sweater and boyfriend jeans combo
and this little inspirational, maybe aggressive
but inspirational all the same
put smile on my face
and reminded me that cake and ice cream
could benefit us all
the next day the message was gone
and I was surprised someone even bothered to change the picture
and was sort of angry at the censorship
until I saw this on Grand Street:

and I was elated to see people trying to spread the good
nutrition and literacy,
isn't that all we kids need nowadays?
with Snapple machines being taken out of schools
and bake sales being scaled down to just Poptarts and Doritos
this was just a beautiful message
but I was confused as to which came first
the sadly spelled "arrested" or the inspirational message
its a chicken and the egg conundrum
because they are both written in orange chalk
and how many people carry orange chalk around in their pockets?
to my dismay, it was removed the next day
just a plain shame, because after seeing this
I came home and read The Sound & The Fury
anyhow, these messages are what a
psalms book written by the Bad Girl's Club would be like
I'd buy it.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

This is What I Live For

This fateful Friday I finally got to leave Poughkeepsie
and it felt so good
midterms week was so oppressive
all I did was sit in various library cubicles
staring at the walls 
and listening to Robin Thicke to get me by
while my roommate overdosed on caffeine 
literally, she said her teeth were buzzing
which worries me a bit
but enough with that 
because Vassar seems like just a distant memory 
still covered in snow 
so for now I'll just pretend that I'll be in the city forever
not for just 2 more weeks
it's actually spring here
and I'm storing the snow boots
and my winter jacket away
hello leather jacket, 
sweet thing, how I've missed you
I traded in the library cubicle 
for the park benches at Tompkin's
watching pups in the dog run (and sane squirrels)
I saw the cutest bulldog
a chubby, scrumptious little thing
that looked like a roll of sugar cookie dough
pups help past the time when you're waiting 2 hours
to get a coveted seat in 
the Clinton Street Baking Company
for the best blueberry pancakes ever (more on that later)
so the wait was productive,
I finally got to take in my neighborhood(s)
while the sun was shining
perfect weather for an iced coffee
and a long walk
so here are some pictures I took
because one of the best things about the city 
is the street art, the graffiti, the murals

this is one of my favorite ever
an amalgamation of everything about the city that I love

the Lower East Side is the most beautiful place in the entire world
no matter what anyone says 
I'm a sucker for any tag in pink 

so long drab brick buildings of Vassar
I get so sick of staring out my window onto the quad
where everything looks the same
where nothing is colorful
where the extent of history isn't just some 
tall tales about Jane Fonda 
I just wish I could stay here forever
where there's a bodega on every corner
and a photo op on every block
and I don't have to wait for a shuttle to go to the supermarket
where the extent of my walk isn't to 
English class
where there are pigeons and buses
and different types of people (this is probably the most refreshing thing about being back)
for the next two weeks 
me and my leather jacket
are going to take on the world 
(because the Lower East Side is definitely the center of the world).

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Saltine Creation #1

For those Lent minded, unreligious people like me
who are suffering from not having sweets
or cookies, or brownies, or cake
like this beautiful raspberry mouse cheesecake and rainbow cookie gelato feast
I had on Valentine's Day (my heart dies when I see this picture)

I've got a creation
out of desperation I've turned to Saltines to keep me going
in an attempt to satisfy my insatiable love for desserts
or just because sometimes in college you have to make do with what you have
and there is always a constant supply of saltines by the mostly gross soups
I'm hoping to think up more creations like this one 
coming atcha from the wretched Deece (dining hall that is miserable)
presenting Peanut Butter & Jelly Fro-Yo Sandwiches!
with step by step instructions! (makes 2 servings)

apply jelly generously, for I love jelly
anyone else would probable have their own jar of jelly, while I have to scoop 
it out of a communal jelly tub, ew 

slather on peanut butter to your liking
I am not huge peanut butter fan unless its paired with a ton of jelly
so I used it sparingly

add froyo, or icecream if you are privileged enough to have it
I used chocolate because, although there are 3 dispenser nozzles, 
they were all filled with chocolate and were unlabeled
no vanilla for me, boo
but chocolate was really nommy too
add the icecream/froyo to the peanut butter side of the sandwich

top the froyo with the jelly covered cracker, making sure not to let the froyo escape
and enjoy!
I swear they taste like cookies
but eating at a dining hall
may have altered my taste buds 
either which way its simple and yummy
and keeps me away from the dessert table

you can see the communal peanut butter tub in the background
the tubs with butter and jelly and peanut butter and cream cheese
always have crumbs in them
I think that's what weirds me out

what a perfect midterm snack.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

As I Eat an Apple in Prison...

Fireworks are going off inside of my cheeks right now, 
literally I look like my face is on fire
thats what my Art History 
midterm just did to me
not because it was extremely 
difficult or anything
but because my body's pigments react weird to stress
usually during a test, or anything 
anxiety producing
like when I had to do a whole presentation, in Spanish class
in the 8th grade about Matadors and their clothing
or when I had to give my AP Lit class a 30 minute lecture
about how love always equals death in One Hundred Years of Solitude
in the middle of speaking red blotches would form on my chest
like alternate maps of the earth
sometimes my stressed produced Russian looking masses, 
sometimes South American, 
who knows, but all my girl friends who would make fun of me 
eventually got these wretched "spots" too
the Art History is over, over, over

onto other unfortunate happenings of my life today:
as I was taking the 10 minute part of my test
the part that I have been studying for a whole week for
the part that has rendered my life utterly banal
I was using a mechanical pencil,
or as we called them in our elementary school days,
a "lead pencil", only the coolest kids had lead pencils, 
not me, I had to find them on the floor, 
scooping them up and putting them in my bag
to mix with all the pencil shavings that would explode out of my 
cheap 25 cent sharpener
oh, the plight of children 
anyhow, I was writing the date of some Rembrandt painting
when my pencil point broke, the tip shooting into my eye
it got caught in my eyelashes 
thank god for mascara,
I knew those 5 or so layers would come in handy one day:my saviour from blindness

on another note, I am eating a green apple in prison right now, 
hoping my crunchy munching isn't bothering anyone, oh well
my new main concern is figuring out
why can't I bite into an apple without successively 
hitting my nose on it quite hard
and I feel like I'm the only person suffering from this
last week my nose ached for days from eating a massive apple
I should just give up and settle on more tame fruits, like grapefruit
boy, do I love grapefruit sprinkled with 2 Splendas
or slice my apples and carry around plastic utensils
I also have an odd love for plastic utensils, literally
I guess my quandary can finally be over now

The other day I read on AOL news some middle school kid got detention
for wittily responding to an "innocent statement": "push it in farther", with Michael Scott's 
famed phrase, "that's what she said"
what is the world coming to,
when I was in middle school kids would run around calling each other 
I miss those days.

Monday, March 1, 2010

My First Pajama Jeans Sighting

Ok so there isn't much time,
seeing as I'm imprisoned again
cranking out essays
being exploited and worn down by rote memorization for Art History
I could literally tell you the date of every Rembrandt painting
in my sleep, in the shower I'll be washing my hair
thinking of Frans Hals portraits, reciting dates, 1614, 1664, 1609 on repeat 
like the Shwayze songs on my Itunes
I feel so oppressed
unable to fully enjoy menial activities like 
brushing my teeth, or slicing strawberries for my cereal
on another note, my real purpose for writing
was to share that I legit saw someone wearing pajama jeans today
yes, pajama jeans, those comfy psuedo denim leggings for those over 40
and those with no dignity 
[except I think my roommate could so rock a pair, but only she would be allowed to]
oh pajama jeans, providers of endless ridicule
in my opinion, you should have no place on a college campus,
but then again, neither should corduroy booty shorts,
[a true conundrum, blending winter with summer, something I never understood]
or full length red velvet coats, 
but god help me, I've seen that here too.

From the abyss,

Enjoy the Pajama Jeans ad [It's a whole outfit!]

Related Posts with Thumbnails