Sunday, February 28, 2010

Prisoners Love Pastries Too.

In the library basement
I feel quite queer,
almost like a prisoner because I'm underground
and the windows are way above my head
and I can only see the clouds
moving really slowly across the sky behind some tree branches,
no buildings, no sidewalks, nothing in sight
just the ugly foliage print on the library carpet, 
and the steam rising from my tea
I'm trying to load up on brain food
like peppermint tea, almonds, and chocolate raspberry truffles
the truffles I deemed brain food by my own scientific study
so eat up all the raspberry flavored chocolate you want
and I bet you'll have the will to finish any paper
I gave up pastries for Lent
but I'm not really religious
I just like giving stuff up for Lent,
something must be empowering about the sense of communal sacrifice or something
who knows, 
either which way I died in Stop & Shop yesterday in the
Yesterday's Baked Goods section:
a small slice of heaven
what's better than sweets and a sale?
nothing besides a sweet sale on shoes
but the low priced chocolate cakes, raspberry danishes, sweet bread, lady fingers, and 
other nomlicious treats were off limits for me
even though I could have bought an entire birthday cake
complete with sprinkles for just $2.98
I settled for some 100 calorie packs of chocolate covered pretzels,
mixed berry english muffins (sent from heaven, sadly they are seasonal), and strawberries
but I still cannot get those cheap treats out of my head
so here is my little homage to all things buttery, sugary, floury and delish that my
poor little heart is craving in the prison of the library

Yes folks, a chocolate cupcake with raspberry buttercream and raspberry preserve filling
this is my ideal dessert, dainty & dangerous
I'm nuts for anything raspberry
its my anti-drug

Thumbprint cookies,
two words: I DIE
these happen to be a Christmas tradition in my family
I always get a small tin of them from my uncle & aunt, better than a typical gift any day

white chocolate raspberry cheesecake
this is the most romantic dessert I could ever think of
Lent is so anti-romance

oh little luscious berries, you are quite tart and bumpy naturally
but you produce the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches 
cupcakes, chocolates and other sweet treats of my life
thanks for making everything more nom
for now, in my new life free from pastries
I'll just have to settle on saltines
one cracker with a touch of peanut butter, the other with a glop of jelly
a little bit of vanilla fro-yo in the middle
and I almost feel like I'm eating a cookie sandwich(from Milk&Cookies in the West Village)
I must be delusional.

Saturday, February 27, 2010


Today I bought a new luggage set
in preparation for Spring Break
although its still winter, and when I get to the city there
will be about 20 inches of dirty grey snow
home is going to be so sweet
mainly because my mom bought herself a wok last week
the amazingness that it will bring does not have to be explained
two words, LO MEIN.

Things I'm Looking Forward to (In Haiku):

parmesan, piled on
long line, thick crust, cheesy bliss
Artichoke Pizza

oh sweet couch! cradle
me in your cushions, Spongebob 
reruns, pretty please

mopping the floors, and
blasting merengue, I can
see my mom dancing

grimy, rats on the tracks
better than watching squirrels
hop through Vassar grass
Spanish coffee, sits
in my Hello Kitty mug
  by a warm omelet 

I can see all the 
colors of the city right 
from Avenue A.

6 days more wretched days
and them I'm home free
armed with my Metrocard, and a dream.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Dear Snow,

Dear Snow/Sleet/Rain/Ice Pellets,
The strongest bond that exists in this world
besides that of a mother and her daughter, 
is that of a girl and her shoes
and I never thought that something could tear us so far apart
so here I am in Russian Lit, 
not listening to the biography of Kafka, 
because my socks are wet and I'm wearing too many sweaters
so please stop covering me with 
mutant snowflakes the size of donuts
I just want to wear a floral print dress again, 
maybe a tutu of sorts,
and booties, lots of beautiful booties, and my velvet shoes
is that too much to ask?
oh, also I would like the omelet station to be always open,
but I'm not sure you can handle that request
just please, move over, maybe to the Midwest because
I'm beginning to forget what fashion is.

This is literally how I feel.

Sadly yours,

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Dear Summer,

Dear Summer,
You tastes like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
that have been sitting in your bag for too long, 
under the pressure of grapes, peaches and frozen water bottles
(because they are great beach food)
after sitting under the hot sun the jelly starts to soak through the white bread
and you can see the 
purplish squishy parts
just saturated with grape jam, or strawberry preserves
and then you take the sandwich out because you're starving
unwrapping it from its aluminum foil, 
(making sure to scoop out all the jelly that oozed out)
making sure not to let it blow away in the ocean breeze
I don't know if you can call the wind at Coney Island an "ocean breeze"
it sounds far too romantic, but oh well
its more like a violent wind, that sends beach umbrellas tumbling through the sand
attacking napping beach bums and unsuspecting tanners
then you bite into your pb& j (heavy on the j)
as the wind is blowing the umbrella, it also blows the sand 
some of the grains getting stuck in
the sticky mess of your sandwich
making your bites that much more fulfilling
as you watch the umbrella owner chase it 
the rainbow, maybe palm tree printed umbrella 
causing chaos on the beach 
me? I'm anti-beach umbrella
pro tanning oil & pb&j
so summer please come soon,
I'll be waiting patiently for you
in my snow boots, in Poughkeepsie, not eating peanut butter & jelly
I'm saving myself for you.


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ramblings from Russian Lit

Every Tuesday is a blizzard
and I'm craving a mixed berry English muffin
7 o'clock PM is too late to discuss the Mad Tea Party
and venturing through the looking glass
but if I were at a mad tea party
I could definitely have an English muffin
slathered with butter, a perpetual tea party with  white chocolate raspberry scones, and lemon tea
a mad tea party is looking pretty good right now, 
when all that awaits me is the my late night fate at the library
Tuesday is my new least favorite day of the week
cold mornings, wet socks,mushy bananas and Cheerio's for breakfast
having Cheerio's is a real disappointment when you're expecting Corn Flakes
for Corn Flakes is the best cereal ever, and Cheerio's just tastes like toddler food
lingusitics, romanticism, relativism, all these terms
 are swirling over my head
like the snow has been all day
in still, calm white sheets
ironically causing dangerous ice avalanches off of the sad, washed out dorms:
pending concussions, comas
I hate the snow
because I just want some strawberries, (maybe I'll settle for some some saltines with raspberry jam)
                           not Russian literature class
where everyone is staring at their laptops screens 
with glazed over looks
looking at pictures of spotted newts, playing tetris and browsing clothes on (literally)
maybe they're thinking about strawberries too. 

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Best Day of My Life

It's been a while, 
and I've been feeling a bit uninspired
which means I've been getting all my readings done and going to bed at decent times
but after my weekend I feel chock full of 
blogging inspiration,
but most of all, because today was nearly one of the best days....ever
my humble little trip to Stop & Shop today, proved out to be
one of the best shopping experiences of my life
and thats saying a whole lot, for me anyways
let me just cut to the chase, 
I love Dippin Dots,
its a crazy, inexplicable, dangerous love affair
between me and the scrumptious, temporal little spheres of coldness and sweet sensation
this love affair has been raging for years, my heart swells with elation 
every time I visit and amusement park, knowing that for about 6 bucks I could
taste the most innovative and delish morsels ever 
my mouth waters just thinking of the cookies and cream 
with the Oreo pieces, or the Birthday Cake flavor which I first experienced 
in Universal Studios after a bout of crying 
my best friend Monica did not try to calm my tears, but instead 
she bought me the big size of Birthday Cake Dippin Dots, to consume all by myself
now that's the best friend you could ever have
no hugs, just Dippin Dots, ah how well she knows me
my tears instantly dried up and I just kept on truckin' 
with my pink, yellow, blue, and white pastel ice cream bits
right on to the Jurassic Park ride I went, happy as a clam you could say
anyhow, I'm just hooked
I love amusement parks, roller coasters, thrills, spills, waterslides,  and lazy rivers
but what makes the whole experience worth it, is the Dippin Dots
so there I was in Stop & Shop walking down each aisle
getting grapefruits, strawberries, lots of cereal, and other great items
when in the ice cream section I stumbled upon Itti Bitz
individual servings of Dippin Dots.................for the low price of ONE DOLLAR!!!!
there is where I died, gathering cookies and cream, cookie dough, and neapolitan 
to eat in the comfort of my dorm
I screamed about how jealous Monica would be
for she is one of the few who shares my odd affinity for these frozen treats
I felt like I won a million dollars, 
waiting for the shuttle back to school I was beaming
calling my mother to tell her the good news
never again will I have to wait to go to Six Flags,
no roller coaster or water slide necessary for this thrill
life got even better though,
I also found 79 cent DIET GRAPE SODA!
the second best find of my life
seeing as I love love love grape soda
and have not had it in years
I felt like God really loved me today,
I didn't even get ashes last week
and as I boarded the shuttle
bags of wonder in tow,
sun shining through the window, warming my hair
Bad Romance began playing on the radio
dancing in my seat with my Gaga claws was
a beautiful end to my blissful trip

Monday, February 8, 2010

Valentine's Day Wishlist

This is what I want for Valentine's day
right from Veniero's, delivered to my dorm preferably
I know this is a fantasy, but a girl can dream big
there's almost nothing I love more than rainbow cookies
its hard to tell which I would prefer,
a box of rainbow cookies, or shoes
I'm so tempted to say rainbow cookies
I'd also like  big box of jell rings to savor myself
because when I think about it, there are more gross chocolates in
your cliche heart shaped box than there are delicious ones:
the delicious ones being the little morsels filled with
strawberry, coconut and maybe toffee, raspberry if I'm lucky
at least with jell rings I know every one is delish
the first time I had jell rings was on Union Square
and that day was truly enlightening
a woman would sell candy outside of the clinic
for a dollar a baggie,
5 jelly rings rested in that baggie with a little red twist tie
waiting to marry with my mouth
as I waited to see my pediatrician,
making doctor's visits almost enjoyable
one year for my birthday 
I banished the notion of traditional birthday cake
in favor or a jell ring and rainbow cookie structure,
need I say best birthday ever?

Finally, I'd like to conclude my Valentine's day sweetness extravaganza
with a box of Cella's chocolate covered cherries
each little bite sending a stream of syrupy, juicy goodness out of the chocolate structure
the best thing is to slowly unwrap the pretty red foil,
to bite the flat bottom off, slurp out all the syrup, 
then eat the cherry in the little chocolate cup left over
so dainty, so succulent, and simply nommm
thinking of all these scrumptious treats after a boring dinner of snap peas
just proves to me that
dates are fun, dinner is romantic,
love is great, but candy is better.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Take Me Back to Coney Island

I want a kiwi, and a bag of cherries
just the way my grandma would bring them to me
after a day of ambling around Chinatown buying little round buddhas 
and various statues of elephants,
some emblazoned with the American flag, some jade, some big, some small
to add to her collection that sits among old school pictures of me and my cousins
in mismatched frames, our awkward smiles accentuated by the cloudy looking colors behind us
I remember the picture day form where you could pick from red, blue, green and purple
none of which were very flattering
I would practice my smile in the mirror, 
and screw it up as soon as I got in front of the camera
the picture lady would mess with my hair
with one of those little plastic combs she would use on everything else
not only did the lights make me feel weird
but I also had to deal with the anxiety that that comb had lice on it
knees together swiveled to the right, head tilted painfully to the left
snap, and that was it
a document of an entire year crammed into 3 seconds
and over the years the problems would keep coming, missing teeth, crooked bangs,
and a god awful school uniform, turned into 
too much glitter eyeshadow, and hot pink lipstick, 
you always find the best, sweetest, and most potentially embarrassing memories
at your grandmother's house
I'm realizing how much I miss her right now
because we are so far away from the days when Coney Island 
was better than Disneyland
the waves crashed onto the dirty beach, littered with beer bottles, 
shards of sea shells, and glass
dirty, gritty, but more beautiful to me than any vacationer's beach
because in the distance I could see the Wonder Wheel
its red and blue carts swinging as it turned
slowly, the same it had been doing since 1920
the boardwalk, with its squirt gun and basketball games
riddled with neon stuffed animals, 
elephants, the pink panther,
and the lingering smell of sand, saltwater, and french fries and the loud sounds
of bachata, merengue, and salsa escaping from various radios
it never got old, me and my grandmother would walk along the boardwalk
and she'd occasionally stop to dance to the salsa blaring out of 
an old man's boom box 
we would buy cotton candy, 
its thin pink wisps melting on my tongue as we waited on line for the 
Tilt-A-Whirl, Thunderbolt & Spook-a-rama
sending us into fits of dizziness and giggles
amidst the 90s pop songs & Michael Jackson that blared out of the DJs speakers
the rides were always too short, as were the days I spent with her there
I'd finish with a bubble gum icy, tiny chiclets scattered throughout 
creating rainbow swirls in the icy pink
buying a candy apple, its red smooth coating glistening 
in the sunlight that streamed into the train windows
we'd finish our day, 
just to ride the F train all the way back home
passing Neptune Ave, & Avenue X
to arrive at Essex St., where we'd emerge into the familiarity
of the Lower East Side, nearly a whole world away from that fantasy land. 

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Humble Beginnings of an Aspiring Food Critic

I never had an Easy Bake Oven
and what girl didn't want one?
I pined over those bite sized chocolate cakes
sprinkled with glittering pink sugar,
dreamed of frosting 
my own cookies and 
mixing my own brownies
even before that in pre-K,
I hung out by the plastic lavender and
baby pink, and cream kitchen set 
that was missing various tiny metal pots and pans
but still had a few plastic food items
the standard fruits and maybe a carton of eggs
I would spend my play time there
pretending to whip up omelets, drinking pretend milk, 
and gossiping with my friends,
you know, the normal business
of a 4 year old on the Lower East Side
I hated the school lunch, they served me liver once
who gives liver to a 4 year old?, I felt like a puppy
being forced to eat a can of chow
so the little kitchen was always a 
better alternative to
the miniature lunch tables
when I got older my dreams of 
cooking never left me
I spent a lot of time at my grandma's house,
complete with plastic covered fabric couches, 
a collection of stuffed animals from 
various rip-off Coney Island games,
a menagerie of Technicolor bulldogs, 
goofy lions, and teddy bears,
a crazy old chihuahua named Snoopy,
and no cable,
no Hey Arnold, or Rocko's Modern Life, or Real Monsters for me
nope, I settled down with the Food Network
watching Emeril Lagasse do his thing
I sat down in front of the TV with my Play-doh and followed his recipes
making tacos and seafood with the various colors I had
shaping reds and greens and blues
being careful not to mix the colors and essentially taint them forever
I would roll out little balls of pretend pizza dough
that would leave the sweet memorable scent 
on my hands and under my finger nails
which totally beats out the Easy Bake Oven 
now I watch Iron Chef, and Chopped not pretending to be a chef
but to pretending to be a food critic, skilled and versed in describing the 
multifaceted tastes of food
I'm pretty obsessed 
what a great life it would be 
to sit around saying things like "oh yes, this tastes a bit gamey", 
and "that really adds a kick of flavor", "this presentation is very rustic"
or "the hint of lemon adds a depth of flavor and brings out the saffron"
you know, great stuff like that
I'd travel around tasting bits of every country & culture while taking notes
on flavor, and plating design
make-believe never gets old
but hey, who knows, maybe one day I can work for the Zagat
dreams may not always come true
but I still love the smell of Play Doh.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Grievances & Bunny Aspirations

So there I was
sitting in the dining hall, balancing an orange on top of my head
whilst reading Marx
blending comedy, absurdism and communism to cure 
the maladies of institutional dining
I was surprisingly good 
at this believe it or not
and I learned a lot about 
estranged labor and alienation
I should write a culinary manifesto
really I should
attempting to incite a revolution at the Deece [our dining hall]
abolishing the practice of mass producing scrambled eggs (because you know, eggs are something personal), and watering down pasta sauce,
I would petition for consistent refills on barbeque sauce, the 
introduction of broccoli & asparagus , constant supply of arugula,
more fresh mozzarella, the correction of labels
and most importantly the addition of cranberry sauce to the condiment lineup
because, despite popular belief
it is an all year round food
best eaten out of a Tupperware in my dorm
it's not weird, just delicious
for last week the "Vegetarian Potato Leek Soup" actually had pork fat in it
and unbeknownst to me I tried it...
anyhow, I was sitting there with Marx by my side 
he was whispering in my ear, and as we were sharing that intimate moment
I saw a girl with two huge plates
of iceberg lettuce, and nothing else
I was baffled to say the least, 
even though I was the one with the orange on top of my head, she was still an odd sight
I mean, I hate all the food here more than the next person
but just lettuce? yuck
she sat down and began to slowly stuff the lettuce under the table into some orifice
very incognito
although I figured out she was packing the lettuce in a Tupperware 
for some late night salad snacking
but hey, who am I to judge?
at that moment I had a large baggie of Rice Chex and 2 oranges tucked away in my tote
thats what I call primary sustenance
I wanted to believe she had a bunny hidden in her purse
for that is what I would do if I had a bunny
I would name him something classic, like Frankfurt, maybe Brussels
and bring him to the Deece, he would eat a plate of lettuce 
and carrots and celery beside me
distracting me from my pending malnutrition 
as I enlighten him about Marx and Rubens and the wonders of cranberry sauce
we'd be cranberry sauce aficionados
he would be the ultimate library buddy and confidant
cuddling up in a comfy chair beside me
I would no longer be the girl with the heels
but the girl with the bunny.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Nostalgia '98

I'm chewing some Bubblicious gum 
the big pink wad is filling my entire mouth with artificial strawberry flavor
I really wanted to buy the classic bubblegum 
but the store didn't have any
but either which way, without the super sweet, wistful taste 
of old school bubblegum in my mouth
I'm feeling pretty nostalgic today
as I usually am, which I guess goes along with being in college
and watching everyone slowly building up to the real world, whatever that is
when I think about school, and graduating with an art history,
 possibly sociology degree
I have mini nightmares 
of being 28 and still being an intern
by then I'd have a sad blog titled "The Life and Times of the Perpetual Intern"
I'd sit in my cramped studio apartment struggling to balance my checkbook,
fit everything into my small closet, and keep it together,
eating leftover pizza (I wouldn't mind that)
wondering when I should do laundry, and how long I could go 
without paying my cable bill
before the company rips away my super old school marathons of
 Everybody Loves Raymond
I'll be so far away from the days when Juicy Fruit & Big Red
were a quarter and the most popular types of gum
the days when my mom would give me a dollar to spend at the corner candy store 
right before I went into elementary school to mumble the pledge 
and begin beating up all the boys in my twisted sense of flirting
I would have my dollar, probably in 4 quarters
and I would buy an ice cream sandwich- 25 cents
a bag of Doritos - 25 cents
2 of the large individually packed Swedish fish (nommmm)-10 cents
2 Airheads (one blue, one red)- 30 cents
and still have enough money to buy a couple of Cry Babies or Warheads
gosh, Warheads are so nauseatingly sour, but as a kid I loved the challenge
of holding one in my mouth until I couldn't breathe from the sourness
until I spit it out 
only to try once again
I would eat the ice cream sandwich slowly, so the chocolate 
could stick onto my fingers, leaving me with a treat
even after the little sandwich had been devoured by my newly forming adult teeth
the candy store was the mecca, followed by the school yard
where violent games of cops & robbers ruled, as did 
flared jeans, skinned knees, platform sneakers, and lopsided bangs
now the library rules, gone are the days of sitting in circles
playing duck, duck goose, spelling tests, and yearning to be 
Student of the Month
now I'm just yearning to finish my readings on Marxism
so I'm just going to sit here in the library, 
chewing my gum (which cost nearly 2 bucks)
blowing bubbles and trying to hold onto that that feeling of power,
as I chased someone down in the yard
or finally learned how to do long division or write in cursive,
hoping I don't grow up too fast.

Related Posts with Thumbnails