23 minutes.

Ok,

I'll address the obvious: it has been a while

but if you calculate all of the hours in the week I spend

attempting to learn everything about Islam,

dreaming of Marx,

trying to figure out the exact difference between a Baptist and a Methodist,

contemplating my life's goal

(to be an elementary school teacher and then a lady baker)

and waiting on line for my egg white omelet twice a day

(complete with tomatoes, onions, and American cheese)

I have approximately

23 minutes of spare time

and now that 23 minutes belongs to Sleeping Venus

I also promise more posts, because I miss my roommate

she'll be Tanzania bound in a few weeks

and while she worries about covering up her bodacious body

as to not start any riots, getting malaria, and finding herself

I'll be across the ocean

and my biggest problem is probably trying to figure out

which religion is right for me (it's really been a problem),

and how I'm going to manage to get on the packed shuttle to the mall

every Saturday

thus, I have remind her that life has its menial ups and downs

my favorite up: learning that Oreos and soy milk

are the absolute best study snack

Fun fact: Oreos float

Chips Ahoy may sink to the bottom of your cup

to become a delightful mushy mess,

but Oreos just chill

and wait for you to finish up that last sentence of your essay

so you could enjoy 'em

I need some Oreos right about now

I just had to breakout the graphing calculator for my psych assignment,

you know the Texas Instruments TI-83

that most of us attending liberal arts colleges

haven't touched in a hot minute

mine is covered in Hello Kitty and My Little Pony stickers,

it makes me wish I was still 15.

Cookie Time

I'm crazy for cookies

especially when they are colorful

and bursting with

sweet noms like raspberry & ice cream

here are some of my favorite

rainbow cookies from Rocco's on Bleecker

& cookie sandwiches from Milk & Cookies on Commerce Street

why are the best treats born in the West Village?

under the canopy of fire escapes, quaint buildings, and brick-face

Milk & Cookies is my favorite

because of the cute, warmth of the place, tucked in between old brownstones

the glass, communal water pitcher,

the cups full of brown sugar cubes and thick golden honey,

the happy array of flowers that greet passerbys,

but most of all, I love the cookie sandwiches and the love with which they are made

the perfect way that a scoop of creamy, dense ice cream is placed between

two huge, soft, cookies

and pressed to perfection, to make that ice cream spread all over the cookies

just 5 bucks of pure lusciousness

my particular ice cream sandwich love letter

was strawberry ice cream & macadamia nut cookies

it was a delicious masterpiece.

New Year, New Woe: The Death of Penny Licks

Dear 2010,

2009 was particularly shitty

and I had some hope for what you were bringing to the table,

after celebrating New Years with 

pina coladas & the Puerto Rican masterpiece of a concoction: coquito

I thought that maybe you were on my side,

I thought wrong because 

ruin came to my holidays

Penny Licks is closed, for good

I get unusually attached to cutesy, kitsch 

dessert joints in my favorite neighborhoods

my first love was Sugar Sweet Sunshine

the best cupcake shop nestled on Rivington

where the pistachio cupcakes are to die for

and the soft, falling apart array of arm chairs

just suck you in

last year, around the New Year it was closed for a week

My heart sunk at the thought of its demise

no more Bob cupcakes with 

chocolate almond icing and no more strawberry cupcakes with sweet

cream cheese icing and 

heart sprinkles that gave me butterflies

luckily, I was not aware of their vacation period that fell right around Christmas, and my 

heart's joy was fulfilled when I could once again relish in their cupcakes galore

I loved this little place so much

I wrote about it in my Vassar college application & took my interviewer there

I like to think she loved me for me, but she might have just been wooed by the

decadent pumpkin cupcake I ordered for her 

anyway,

my life is ruined, for Penny Licks has left me

Williamsburg is weeping

the days of stopping in after hitting up my favorite vintage stores & the Salvation army 

are OVER

no more tiny, one dollar cones in assorted vegan flavors

that are actually better than real ice cream

or towering, lumpy scoops of vegan cookie dough 

topped high on a simple sugar cone

to scoop up with my vegan banana chocolate chip oatmeal cookie

yes, I said it: banana chocolate chip oatmeal cookie

a huuuuuuge award worthy cookie with fat chocolate chips and 

great banana flavor

my heart is sobbing at the mere memory

all I ever needed was a new pair of boots, a beautiful cone and a lumpy cookie and I was set

now where will I find that same love?

absolutely nowhere

never will I be able to soothe my ice cream craving & vintage obsession at the same time

so my verdict is that life sucks

and the world is going to the goons

that's the only way I can describe my feelings

because if I cannot have tasty vegan treats at my heart's desire

what can I have?

surely not happiness.