Tuesday, March 2, 2010

As I Eat an Apple in Prison...

Fireworks are going off inside of my cheeks right now, 
literally I look like my face is on fire
thats what my Art History 
midterm just did to me
not because it was extremely 
difficult or anything
but because my body's pigments react weird to stress
usually during a test, or anything 
anxiety producing
like when I had to do a whole presentation, in Spanish class
in the 8th grade about Matadors and their clothing
or when I had to give my AP Lit class a 30 minute lecture
about how love always equals death in One Hundred Years of Solitude
in the middle of speaking red blotches would form on my chest
like alternate maps of the earth
sometimes my stressed produced Russian looking masses, 
sometimes South American, 
who knows, but all my girl friends who would make fun of me 
eventually got these wretched "spots" too
the Art History is over, over, over

onto other unfortunate happenings of my life today:
as I was taking the 10 minute part of my test
the part that I have been studying for a whole week for
the part that has rendered my life utterly banal
I was using a mechanical pencil,
or as we called them in our elementary school days,
a "lead pencil", only the coolest kids had lead pencils, 
not me, I had to find them on the floor, 
scooping them up and putting them in my bag
to mix with all the pencil shavings that would explode out of my 
cheap 25 cent sharpener
oh, the plight of children 
anyhow, I was writing the date of some Rembrandt painting
when my pencil point broke, the tip shooting into my eye
it got caught in my eyelashes 
thank god for mascara,
I knew those 5 or so layers would come in handy one day:my saviour from blindness

on another note, I am eating a green apple in prison right now, 
hoping my crunchy munching isn't bothering anyone, oh well
my new main concern is figuring out
why can't I bite into an apple without successively 
hitting my nose on it quite hard
and I feel like I'm the only person suffering from this
last week my nose ached for days from eating a massive apple
I should just give up and settle on more tame fruits, like grapefruit
boy, do I love grapefruit sprinkled with 2 Splendas
or slice my apples and carry around plastic utensils
I also have an odd love for plastic utensils, literally
I guess my quandary can finally be over now

The other day I read on AOL news some middle school kid got detention
for wittily responding to an "innocent statement": "push it in farther", with Michael Scott's 
famed phrase, "that's what she said"
what is the world coming to,
when I was in middle school kids would run around calling each other 
I miss those days.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails