Thursday, January 14, 2010

My Love Affair with William Faulkner

So I was just in the shower thinking 
about my next blog post
following my strict regimen of shampoo, conditioner, brush teeth, soap, rinse hair
or so I thought...
in my excitement to blog I was conditioning my hair
and could not remember whether or not I shampooed it
which is ridiculous, an 18 year old should not be experiencing that sort of memory loss
nonetheless, I shampooed and conditioned all over again, just in case
and I promise myself never to let blogging cloud my rationality or memory ever again
now, lets get to the goods:
amidst the tragedy of going back to school comes the misery of buying new books
I mean, I'm super excited for my classes
quick summary: American Modernism, art history, 
17th century Flemish painting, & Alice in Wonderland
yes, sounds amazing but the bill for my books doesn't
so I moseyed on over to Strand to buy books for my English class
which actually was a complete joy, because Faulkner is on my reading list
yes ladies and gents...William Faulkner, the one of the ultimate loves of my life
I know some girls swoon over abs, and charm 
but what really makes my heart beat is beautiful prose
throw me some sensuous imagery & a lush metaphor 
and basically you got me 
which is why I love Faulkner
with his Southern Charm, thick mustache, and pensive gaze, 
I'm just hooked
what can I say? he even makes tweed look good
and everyone already knows my thoughts on tweed...that vile fabric
anyway, in all his mustachioed glory Faulkner is my man 
so there I was, sitting on the couch, watching back to back episodes of True Life 
all tutu-ed and floral-printed out reading The Sound & the Fury,
just in heaven,
transported to the South amidst moral decay
then, I dropped my book and it opened to page 125
and a certain sentence seemed to glow on the page
I swear the sunlight was streaming through the window 
like it was Christ's second coming or something
and I read that lovely sentence 
"Her face was like a cup of milk dashed with coffee in the sweet warm emptiness"
there it is, that is romantic, that is love
that is a bouquet of roses and a love poem and a dinner for two wrapped up into one sentence
and that is why I am in love sounds like I really miss English class
so shoot me, maybe I do
but I'd much rather conduct English class from my couch with my fleece robot blanket.

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