Grievances & Bunny Aspirations

So there I was

sitting in the dining hall, balancing an orange on top of my head

whilst reading Marx

blending comedy, absurdism and communism to cure 

the maladies of institutional dining

I was surprisingly good 

at this believe it or not

and I learned a lot about 

estranged labor and alienation

I should write a culinary manifesto

really I should

attempting to incite a revolution at the Deece [our dining hall]

abolishing the practice of mass producing scrambled eggs (because you know, eggs are something personal), and watering down pasta sauce,

I would petition for consistent refills on barbeque sauce, the 

introduction of broccoli & asparagus , constant supply of arugula,

more fresh mozzarella, the correction of labels

and most importantly the addition of cranberry sauce to the condiment lineup

because, despite popular belief

it is an all year round food

best eaten out of a Tupperware in my dorm

it's not weird, just delicious

for last week the "Vegetarian Potato Leek Soup" actually had pork fat in it

and unbeknownst to me I tried it...

anyhow, I was sitting there with Marx by my side 

he was whispering in my ear, and as we were sharing that intimate moment

I saw a girl with two huge plates

of iceberg lettuce, and nothing else

I was baffled to say the least, 

even though I was the one with the orange on top of my head, she was still an odd sight

I mean, I hate all the food here more than the next person

but just lettuce? yuck

she sat down and began to slowly stuff the lettuce under the table into some orifice

very incognito

although I figured out she was packing the lettuce in a Tupperware 

for some late night salad snacking

but hey, who am I to judge?

at that moment I had a large baggie of Rice Chex and 2 oranges tucked away in my tote

thats what I call primary sustenance

I wanted to believe she had a bunny hidden in her purse

for that is what I would do if I had a bunny

I would name him something classic, like Frankfurt, maybe Brussels

and bring him to the Deece, he would eat a plate of lettuce 

and carrots and celery beside me

distracting me from my pending malnutrition 

as I enlighten him about Marx and Rubens and the wonders of cranberry sauce

we'd be cranberry sauce aficionados

he would be the ultimate library buddy and confidant

cuddling up in a comfy chair beside me

I would no longer be the girl with the heels

but the girl with the bunny.