Saltine Creation #1

For those Lent minded, unreligious people like me

who are suffering from not having sweets

or cookies, or brownies, or cake

like this beautiful raspberry mouse cheesecake and rainbow cookie gelato feast

I had on Valentine's Day (my heart dies when I see this picture)

I've got a creation

out of desperation I've turned to Saltines to keep me going

in an attempt to satisfy my insatiable love for desserts

or just because sometimes in college you have to make do with what you have

and there is always a constant supply of saltines by the mostly gross soups

I'm hoping to think up more creations like this one 

coming atcha from the wretched Deece (dining hall that is miserable)

presenting Peanut Butter & Jelly Fro-Yo Sandwiches!

with step by step instructions! (makes 2 servings)

apply jelly generously, for I love jelly

anyone else would probable have their own jar of jelly, while I have to scoop 

it out of a communal jelly tub, ew 

slather on peanut butter to your liking

I am not huge peanut butter fan unless its paired with a ton of jelly

so I used it sparingly

add froyo, or icecream if you are privileged enough to have it

I used chocolate because, although there are 3 dispenser nozzles, 

they were all filled with chocolate and were unlabeled

no vanilla for me, boo

but chocolate was really nommy too

add the icecream/froyo to the peanut butter side of the sandwich

top the froyo with the jelly covered cracker, making sure not to let the froyo escape

and enjoy!

I swear they taste like cookies

but eating at a dining hall

may have altered my taste buds 

either which way its simple and yummy

and keeps me away from the dessert table

you can see the communal peanut butter tub in the background

the tubs with butter and jelly and peanut butter and cream cheese

always have crumbs in them

I think that's what weirds me out

what a perfect midterm snack.

Dear Summer,

Dear Summer,

You tastes like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

that have been sitting in your bag for too long, 

under the pressure of grapes, peaches and frozen water bottles

(because they are great beach food)

after sitting under the hot sun the jelly starts to soak through the white bread

and you can see the 

purplish squishy parts

just saturated with grape jam, or strawberry preserves

and then you take the sandwich out because you're starving

unwrapping it from its aluminum foil, 

(making sure to scoop out all the jelly that oozed out)

making sure not to let it blow away in the ocean breeze

I don't know if you can call the wind at Coney Island an "ocean breeze"

it sounds far too romantic, but oh well

its more like a violent wind, that sends beach umbrellas tumbling through the sand

attacking napping beach bums and unsuspecting tanners

then you bite into your pb& j (heavy on the j)

as the wind is blowing the umbrella, it also blows the sand 

some of the grains getting stuck in

the sticky mess of your sandwich

making your bites that much more fulfilling

as you watch the umbrella owner chase it 

the rainbow, maybe palm tree printed umbrella 

causing chaos on the beach 

me? I'm anti-beach umbrella

pro tanning oil & pb&j

so summer please come soon,

I'll be waiting patiently for you

in my snow boots, in Poughkeepsie, not eating peanut butter & jelly

I'm saving myself for you.

Love, 

Me