Stuck in Postmodernity.

Ok, so I'm fed up

I'm fed up with literally not having the minutes in the day to blog

I'm fed up with having to plan out every single hour of my day

today's agenda?

4-6pmSociology paper about brands and postmodernity

6-9pm library time & psychology study guide

9-10pm pilates (a possibly futile attempt at relaxation)

10-11pm more soc

11-1am more psych studying

there isn't even time for dinner in that mess

maybe I'll have cornflakes in a cup

cups of cereal, I've just discovered,

are ten times better than bowls of cereal

speaking of cereal,

and other sources of happiness...such as consumerism

I know it's bad

I'm writing a paper about how postmodern and amoral brands are

but I just cannot help but love the best brand of them all:

Coldstone

when I was home, I trekked all the way to the brand mecca:

Times Square

to visit the 4 story abyss (Forever 21)

and the enormous happy-making factory (Coldstone)

I didn't just like it, or love it,

I got an Ours

for the "coolness impaired"

(thats what Coldstone calls those who don't get their sizing)

thats a whole quart....

of birthday cake remix love

and yes...I took pictures with my Coldstone shopping bag

on Times Square and in the Subway

yes, I was that elated

although I may have looked like a loopy ecstatic tourist,

should I have cared?

tourists are naive and happy

(which might be the perfect state of existence)

should I care that Coldstone fills my postmodern void?

apparently taking the place of relationships, morals and piety

(as the good ol' sociologist Lyotard taught me?)

nope,

I stashed my leftover ice cream behind a pile of frozen peaches

to elude any predators (ie. my brother)

and ate it over a few days while I watched Everybody Loves Raymond

ahh how postmodern: vicariously living through sitcoms,

and eating a branded, romanticized commodity

obviously, I've become delusional

unable to separate social theory readings and reality

either which way, that was the life,

now alls I have are 6 stale ice cream sandwiches

I stole from the dining hall

and a few more pages of my paper to write.

Angels in the Library [Fresh(man) Baked Goods]

I love life right now

a little while ago

I was attempting to understand synesthsia and phantom limbs

whilst tackling a statistics assignment in Excel

when I got a frantic phone call at the library desk

it was a poor girl and she said "is there anyone there that can help me with Excel?"

she's probably an English major, or better yet, a Religion major

with no concept of what math is anymore

taking intro Econ

puts a smile on my face to know

I'm not in this boat alone

the next great thing that happened?

I found a book called

The Bagel:The Surprising History of a Modest Bread

which got my foodie senses tingling

and made me miss Astoria, home of the best, fattest bagels

just when I started feeling a growl rising in my stomach

a freshman from my dorm came over to the library, like a savior

and brought me a perfect square of apple crumble,

this isn't your run of the mill freshman

this is a supreme lady baker freshman angel

(she's out of this world cute: think neon pink berets and scuba masks)

who concocts delicious baked goods every single day

I hear a quiet knock on my door every night at around 8,

at peak study time, while I'm jamming to some JLO,

and she's there with a new treat

so far I've had to die for walnut banana bread

(I'm such a sucker for walnuts)

strawberry cupcakes,

oatmeal, chocolate chip peanut butter cookies

(the chocolate was gooey just like on TV)

and apple walnut bread,

the food gods sent her to live in my dorm

to help me combat the blues I get from

not being able to watch the Food Network

The library is poorly lit

(which is why I can't sit at my desk without getting sleepy crossed eyes)

so the crumble doesn't read in a photo as the shining beacon it truly was

but it saved me.

23 minutes.

Ok,

I'll address the obvious: it has been a while

but if you calculate all of the hours in the week I spend

attempting to learn everything about Islam,

dreaming of Marx,

trying to figure out the exact difference between a Baptist and a Methodist,

contemplating my life's goal

(to be an elementary school teacher and then a lady baker)

and waiting on line for my egg white omelet twice a day

(complete with tomatoes, onions, and American cheese)

I have approximately

23 minutes of spare time

and now that 23 minutes belongs to Sleeping Venus

I also promise more posts, because I miss my roommate

she'll be Tanzania bound in a few weeks

and while she worries about covering up her bodacious body

as to not start any riots, getting malaria, and finding herself

I'll be across the ocean

and my biggest problem is probably trying to figure out

which religion is right for me (it's really been a problem),

and how I'm going to manage to get on the packed shuttle to the mall

every Saturday

thus, I have remind her that life has its menial ups and downs

my favorite up: learning that Oreos and soy milk

are the absolute best study snack

Fun fact: Oreos float

Chips Ahoy may sink to the bottom of your cup

to become a delightful mushy mess,

but Oreos just chill

and wait for you to finish up that last sentence of your essay

so you could enjoy 'em

I need some Oreos right about now

I just had to breakout the graphing calculator for my psych assignment,

you know the Texas Instruments TI-83

that most of us attending liberal arts colleges

haven't touched in a hot minute

mine is covered in Hello Kitty and My Little Pony stickers,

it makes me wish I was still 15.

Back to School (sans blues)

Back at Vassar

I started my day out with donuts, blueberry, tres leches, square jelly

I should have figured today was going to be great

any day that starts out with a right-angled pastry

is guaranteed to be epic

I've discovered a guy who has a pet peacock named Kevin

another girl who is thinking of joining a circus troupe after graduation

another girl who had a bag full of fresh organic tomatoes,

right from her garden

and I had a whole, juicy, yellow tomato as a late night snack

I've got my subway map hanging above my desk

my last meal was pad thai with mock duck

I just dropped nearly 400 bucks on books

it smells like summer: fresh cut grass

my bed is two and a half feet above the ground,

I feel like a queen

I'm not gonna lie,

it feels good to be back.

Countdown: (Hope & Jim Joe, Snapshots of Home)

7 days until Vassar

I managed to pack only 20-something pairs of shoes

I call that skills, and restraint

besides missing all the shoes I'm leaving behind,

I'm going to miss Jim Joe, his wisdom

and his knack for always having the perfect message for me

wherever I go, he's like that best friend that gives the greatest advice,

he always reminds me to keep on truckin',

even on the most unbearable days

Beau also keeps me smilin',

I always have my camera

just in case one of my favorite men pay me a visit

IloveyouJimJoe

Inspirational messages might be at their best in Willyb

At Vassar I get all of my hope and inspiration from

the ladies at the Deec (my surrogate moms)

or whoever is making omelets,

I can't complain, I miss those egg white dreams.

Hi Summer, I promise to cherish you.

To make a long story short

let's just say, I finally got my life back

and thank god because I recently suffered a rude awakening

when I received a picture message from my brother

of a Vassar bug that had come to wreak havoc in my apartment

with its long, spindly, abundant legs

rapid movements, and general fear inducing grossness

technology never fails to (literally) disgust me

and it took me back to those nights where whilst I screamed & cowered

my roommate would calmly attempt to trap these horrific bugs and get rid of them

and sadly I remembered the night one of the creatures fell into my bed,

never to be found

how this monstrosity ended up in my apartment, hours away from Poughkeepsie

still baffles me

but it was an omen, that bug said "oh hey gurrrrl,

your summer is flying by"

Sophmore year is soon approaching, love life while you can"

I'm quite thankful for the bug (I never got to actually witness it)

I miss the summers when jobs didn't matter

and on my little street in Astoria someone would open the fire hydrant

sending a gush of frigid water that all the kids on the block

could run through, cooling down, filling up empty Poland Spring bottles

to spray at each other

and kids from other blocks would come

excited by the impromptu & illegal sprinkler

we would block traffic, squirting water guns and screaming

and on the days where the sprinklers didn't come to us

the days were filled with big boxes of sidewalk chalk,

hand-scrawled hopscotch boards with pebbles sprinkled on the numbered squares

while eating italian ices, that never failed to drip cherry red all over our t-shirts

there were the countless hours spent riding my Yaak scooter

(Razors were just too expensive)

rolling down the small grassy hills of Astoria Park and

playing with my Skip-It, watching the numbers on the dial

hundreds of revolutions, and I would be worn out

I can't find my Skip-It, so now, a decade later

I settle for sweet picnics,

I abandon the age old pb&js for brick oven pizza,

the frozen Capri Sun pouches for Arnold Palmer Arizona

letting the smell of the grass, and the cherry juice that stains my fingertips

incite my nostalgia.

Home Sweet Home

I got home yesterday

and let me tell you, the LES is looking beautiful

I've really learned my lesson

I promise to pack lighter next year

maybe I"ll bring only 20 pairs of shoes next time

but, this morning

I woke up in a room, alone

and it felt good

I could hear all the traffic on the Williamsburg bridge

and right outside my room door

was a patiently waiting pup

just dying to play fetch and lay on the couch

I had my mom's Spanish coffee

right out of my Hello Kitty mug

(college coffee is so nasty)

and a mom-let

with yellow american cheese on white bread

my classic favorite food

there was Spongebob

and lots of revolutionary things happened

Spongebob got round pants, and a booty

Patrick turned into a sexy woman complete with blond pigtails and red lipstick

I must say, he was a hottie

it feels so good to be home

where everyone wears shoes at all times

each street smells like a different type of food

halal is always the most tantalizing

and sometimes you run into a street fair (which made me oh so happy)

thai spring rolls, nom

and you don't see the same face,

or the same college sweatshirt or

ethnic print harem pants (oddly popular at Vassar) twice

I was just speechless as I walked around

I forgot how beautiful Essex Street is, it's an acquired taste type of beautiful

but lovely, and welcoming all the same

I got reacquainted with my non-edible-double-decker love Forever

I was on the L train and I had the fleeting worry

"oh my god, I have so much reading to do tonight"

I forget that those are the worries of the past,

goodbye Art History flash cards

(they really got to my head, I was working in the library the other day

and as I scanned out some books for a girl,

instead of telling her the due date, May 21,

I handed back the book and said 1921)

but, the triumph of the day was the noms

vegan Pizza from Vinnie's in WillyB

Barbeque chicken slice with vegan cheese

I load on the hot sauce and parmesan cheese and I'm just in heaven

granted, when I eat spicy food I feel like my lips swell

but it hurts so good

and who doesn't like a lil added lusciousness.

Fruit, Finals, & Frustrations

So, it's study week for finals

and I'm pleasantly overwhelmed

overwhelmed to the point

where I'm on my sixth hour

of sitting in the Deec writing my Hemingway paper

it hurts

just 2 finals, one paper, and 120 more Art History flash cards to memorize

oh, and a Dada collage, great

I bought some used books for my English class this semester

and I don't think I will ever do that again

because you wind up with a book

that someone has decided to permanently scar,

with pen, and odd insights

like on page 36 of my The Sun Also Rises

the person who had it before me

felt it necessary to look up all the French slang and cultural allusions

and now I can always know, since its forever there in blue pen

that Zizi is "French slang for peepee", wonderful insight

I'm trying to relish in academia,

and she taints it with the word peepee, come on

on a better note, the other day

the Deec had real live fresh fruit

not your normal apples and bananas kids,

pineapple! and strawberries!

I was the loon with the two plates of pineapples

and nearly all of the strawberries

I was also the loon who turned into a thief

and stole a bowl of fruit so I can have some happiness in

my dark, dusty room

being bad feels so good sometimes

especially when you can eat a nice big slice of pineapple before going to bed

nom, and everyone knows I'm dangerous around strawberries

so no more must be said about them

om nom nom fruit

Also, I have a large bug to pick with Raymond Ave (the block right outside of Vassar)

there is absolutely no place to get an ice cream cone

a real life, sugar cone

gosh, it's a simple request

but I'm so over wafer cones

they taste like Catholic communion

and I don't want my ice cream to taste like church

so instead I got an italian ice from the pizza place

it was the next best thing

its not the same as home

where you get an icee from the same Puerto Rican man on Delancey

who you've been buying from since you were little

man, do I miss home

but this icee was delish

it tasted like a scoop of childhood

now only if I could have a slice of childhood: a slice of Elio's pizza

you know, the microwaveable kind

that was always on sale when I was younger

and I would put it into the toaster oven

and wait wait wait

then cut it into little cubes

and nom nom nom

I can't wait to go home

I have five more days till I'm free

then its 3 months of shopping, puppy time, Coney Island

oh, and mom-made omelets,

that's the best part.

Formula for the Perfect Day

At Vassar, the Leprechaun bus is the quintessential symbol of escapism

the mall, the train station, Stop & Shop

are the basic adventures that Leprechaun will make possible

and most of the time, that's just fine with me

because I usually just get my kicks from food shopping and browsing at H&M

but on Saturday, the Leprechaun bus came in jumbo size

with TVs that broadcasted Zoolander to take me to Six Flags

and so my perfect day began:

One super sized Leprechaun (or any available charter bus)

minus Vassar

plus awesome roller coasters

I love roller coasters almost more than anything else

a bit less than I love ice cream

but thats a whole lotta love

the more apprehensive I am to put my hands up,

the steeper the drops,

and the more terror involved

the better

what can I say? I'm just a simple thrill seeker

and that's why I love wooden roller coasters

they are the best because every second you feel like

some bolts and screws are going to loosen

and crash the little cart will go

plus Cookies & Cream Dippin Dots

I've said this a thousand times

but Dippin Dots are just to delish

and love them

over and over again forever

om nom nom

I told the girl working in the little Dippin Dots booth

that she had my dream job

and because it was 90 degrees

and she was wearing long khakis and a neon yellow polo

whilst working in a small box

she must have thought I was mocking her

I wasn't

plus Johnny Rockets onion rings

which are definitely the best I've ever had

especially because they come with ranch dipping sauce

and extra crunch

and they are never especially fat, gross slices of onions

at Six Flags the ranch came in packets and not in a small plastic cup

and at first I was disappointed

but! I realized they had many other condiments available

and I seriously love condiments

I literally had a condiment buffet with a side of onion rings

ranch, honey mustard, barbeque, sweet&sour

it was blissful

plus a large watermelon icee

which really speaks for itself

when its 90 degrees outside

and you've been waiting on lines for hours

plus a sweet dinner at an outdoor table

at Babycakes, its the best thing to eat outside at night

and let me tell you, the lemon thyme vinaigrette on some baby greens

is out of this world

and lastly, add Tom Poppa & The Marriage Ref

Tom Poppa has great suits, and an annoying laugh

its always funny to watch couples arguing about country line dancing,

not having enough sex, and odd home furnishings

plus, he does a great puppy impression

and that all equals a best day, and a very happy me.

Sugar Sweet Sunshine: My Home a Few Blocks Away From Home

I feel homesick today

but a different type of homesick

for my second home

which definitely is not Vassar,

but the cozy, warm, decadent heaven

of Sugar Sweet Sunshine

nestled on Rivington Street,

it feels just like home, with the sweet smells

of thick buttercream frosting,

sugar cookies, and chocolate

this was my after school spot

a great place to sink into an old floral print arm chair

and listen to people's cupcake orders, envious after consuming 2 cupcakes

instead of reading Wuthering Heights & the like

the floral print wallpaper, and odd array of furniture

make it pleasantly kitschy

this is really my happy place

I even took my Vassar interviewer there

and I had her at pumpkin cupcake

a delish concoction of pumpkin cake topped with

luscious cream cheese frosting & walnuts

that hurts my heart when I think about it,

for it has been so long since I've had the sweet tastes of home

I've been around the cupcake block,

Magnolia's, Crumb's, Butter Lane, Babycakes

and nothing compares

you can go to Magnolia's if you want a long obnoxious line,

Sex & the City fans, a dense, dry, cupcake with hard icing

and a huge tummy ache afterwards

Crumbs if you want massive, bland tasting cake with fun toppings,

Butter Lane for boring & pricey, and Babycakes for oh so sad vegan creations

Sugar Sweet Sunshine tops them all

oh, did I mention the Zagat says this is the best cupcake place in the city?

thats news to me, but the Zagat is holy and therefore is always right

a dollar fifty for a piece of utopia? they got that, and much more

like banana pudding, with Nilla wafers, and cookies in glass jars

but the winner of all noms is the pistachio cupcake

this little baby is the best, and I've never encountered anyone

who doesn't fall fast in love with this creation

topped with Satin Buttercream (the Moose) and crushed pistachio nuts

nom nom nom little green cake

the other best is the classic Sunshine

vanilla cake, with vanilla buttercream

in pretty colors like hot pink & seafoam (my favorites)

its so sweet, it feels like a hug & a kiss from your first crush (I swear)

what's even better than eating the cupcake itself

is the aftermath

they are so moist that cake sticks to the cupcake liners

and my personal favorite part of the whole experience

is hopefully and wistfully scraping the cake bits off the liner

to get that last, divine taste of harmonious delight

just 31 days till I get home

away from Vassar, and into the warm embrace of a Sugar Sweet Sunshine cupcake.

eat your heart out, this is food porn.

Twix Bars and Bus Stop Angels

One day I was standing on

14th street waiting for the 14A bus

it was probably following an after school

trip to Taco Bell (nom) & Forever

after sharing my quesadilla and

cheesy bean & rice burrito, I was still

craving something else

(if you can't tell, I'm so hungry right now,

I don't even remember what a burrito tastes like)

anyhow, my bus was just not coming

and the Avenue D buses continued to pass

1,2,3,4 D's and still no A's (my eternal strife)

in my frustration, I turned to my friends

and said "I really wish I had a Twix right now"

then I heard the voice of angel,

the woman standing next to me took

a cute, fun size Twix bar out of her purse

and handed it to me, she smiled

like all she wanted to do was gift Twix bars

to make teenage girls happy

I love that mystery woman

then my bus came,

and I sat in the back nomming my tiny Twix

eating the chocolate and caramel off first

then savoring the wafer

it was beautiful, and people think New Yorkers aren't nice

untrue is what I say,

most people in the city smile back

no one smiles back here,

or gives me Twix bars.

Dreams Do Come True.

A couple of weeks ago

I had a dream that I was at the Retreat (other Vassar dining option)

and to my delight they were selling

Vanilla Soy Milk

and strawberries in little plastic cartons

and in my dream I was simply overjoyed

for I love cereal

and its nommier with strawberries and a lil vanilla goodness

this morning at the Retreat I saw a girl eating strawberries

out of a small plastic container

and I immediately ran over,

and alas! in the sad Passover cooler( that had previously housed

with odd, tragic looking concoctions like roasted beets

"Matzorella Lasagna", and "Matzorella Salad"

the word play was cute

but the food looked pitiable)

were small containers each containing 6 juicy strawberries

my heart leaped and jumped

and I let out a squeal of delight

at 2.99 the price is a ripoff

but its so worth it for something other than apples and oranges

I bought two and anxiously explained to the cashier lady

that my dreams were literally coming true

she thought I was a loon, obviously

but hey, I ate those strawberries on my hilltop

sprinkled with Splenda (as everything should be)

whilst soaking up the sun

bronze skin & strawberries,

hey a girl's gotta get her kicks somewhere.

Spring Has Sprung

This weekend was a breakthrough

both on my tan and other important matters

I did not let my nostalgia or homesickness rule

I broke out of the norm,

no more egg white omelets and multigrain toast

I've moved onto scrambled eggs and cheese on an English muffin,

but that wasn't the revolution of this weekend

everything was beautiful,

maybe because I abandoned all my papers and readings and priorities

for blue skies, sandals and a sunny hilltop by Sunset Lake

and for once it felt good not to be in the city

to be away from the movement and

the sounds

(besides the sweet soul sounds of Robin Thicke)

I dearly miss the pigeons,

but I was ok trading them for the robins that would hop around in the grass

sounding like footsteps and awakening me from my sunny slumber

or the occasionally blue jay or cardinal sighting

(and I was overjoyed to see a woodpecker, a real, live woodpecker!!!)

I couldn't hear the hum of car engines or the rumble of subways on old tracks

but I could hear geese overhead and the occasional bee buzzing (quite frightening)

some good ol Vitamin D and combo of UVA UVB made me feel like

I took a short trip to Miami

Spring, you have done a great thing for me and my tan

I am sincerely grateful.