Saltine Creation #1

For those Lent minded, unreligious people like me

who are suffering from not having sweets

or cookies, or brownies, or cake

like this beautiful raspberry mouse cheesecake and rainbow cookie gelato feast

I had on Valentine's Day (my heart dies when I see this picture)

I've got a creation

out of desperation I've turned to Saltines to keep me going

in an attempt to satisfy my insatiable love for desserts

or just because sometimes in college you have to make do with what you have

and there is always a constant supply of saltines by the mostly gross soups

I'm hoping to think up more creations like this one 

coming atcha from the wretched Deece (dining hall that is miserable)

presenting Peanut Butter & Jelly Fro-Yo Sandwiches!

with step by step instructions! (makes 2 servings)

apply jelly generously, for I love jelly

anyone else would probable have their own jar of jelly, while I have to scoop 

it out of a communal jelly tub, ew 

slather on peanut butter to your liking

I am not huge peanut butter fan unless its paired with a ton of jelly

so I used it sparingly

add froyo, or icecream if you are privileged enough to have it

I used chocolate because, although there are 3 dispenser nozzles, 

they were all filled with chocolate and were unlabeled

no vanilla for me, boo

but chocolate was really nommy too

add the icecream/froyo to the peanut butter side of the sandwich

top the froyo with the jelly covered cracker, making sure not to let the froyo escape

and enjoy!

I swear they taste like cookies

but eating at a dining hall

may have altered my taste buds 

either which way its simple and yummy

and keeps me away from the dessert table

you can see the communal peanut butter tub in the background

the tubs with butter and jelly and peanut butter and cream cheese

always have crumbs in them

I think that's what weirds me out

what a perfect midterm snack.

Prisoners Love Pastries Too.

In the library basement

I feel quite queer,

almost like a prisoner because I'm underground

and the windows are way above my head

and I can only see the clouds

moving really slowly across the sky behind some tree branches,

no buildings, no sidewalks, nothing in sight

just the ugly foliage print on the library carpet, 

and the steam rising from my tea

I'm trying to load up on brain food

like peppermint tea, almonds, and chocolate raspberry truffles

the truffles I deemed brain food by my own scientific study

so eat up all the raspberry flavored chocolate you want

and I bet you'll have the will to finish any paper

I gave up pastries for Lent

but I'm not really religious

I just like giving stuff up for Lent,

something must be empowering about the sense of communal sacrifice or something

who knows, 

either which way I died in Stop & Shop yesterday in the

Yesterday's Baked Goods section:

a small slice of heaven

what's better than sweets and a sale?

nothing besides a sweet sale on shoes

but the low priced chocolate cakes, raspberry danishes, sweet bread, lady fingers, and 

other nomlicious treats were off limits for me

even though I could have bought an entire birthday cake

complete with sprinkles for just $2.98

I settled for some 100 calorie packs of chocolate covered pretzels,

mixed berry english muffins (sent from heaven, sadly they are seasonal), and strawberries

but I still cannot get those cheap treats out of my head

so here is my little homage to all things buttery, sugary, floury and delish that my

poor little heart is craving in the prison of the library

Yes folks, a chocolate cupcake with raspberry buttercream and raspberry preserve filling

this is my ideal dessert, dainty & dangerous

I'm nuts for anything raspberry

its my anti-drug

Thumbprint cookies,

two words: I DIE

these happen to be a Christmas tradition in my family

I always get a small tin of them from my uncle & aunt, better than a typical gift any day

white chocolate raspberry cheesecake

this is the most romantic dessert I could ever think of

Lent is so anti-romance

oh little luscious berries, you are quite tart and bumpy naturally

but you produce the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches 

cupcakes, chocolates and other sweet treats of my life

thanks for making everything more nom

for now, in my new life free from pastries

I'll just have to settle on saltines

one cracker with a touch of peanut butter, the other with a glop of jelly

a little bit of vanilla fro-yo in the middle

and I almost feel like I'm eating a cookie sandwich(from Milk&Cookies in the West Village)

I must be delusional.