Stuck in Postmodernity.

Ok, so I'm fed up

I'm fed up with literally not having the minutes in the day to blog

I'm fed up with having to plan out every single hour of my day

today's agenda?

4-6pmSociology paper about brands and postmodernity

6-9pm library time & psychology study guide

9-10pm pilates (a possibly futile attempt at relaxation)

10-11pm more soc

11-1am more psych studying

there isn't even time for dinner in that mess

maybe I'll have cornflakes in a cup

cups of cereal, I've just discovered,

are ten times better than bowls of cereal

speaking of cereal,

and other sources of happiness...such as consumerism

I know it's bad

I'm writing a paper about how postmodern and amoral brands are

but I just cannot help but love the best brand of them all:

Coldstone

when I was home, I trekked all the way to the brand mecca:

Times Square

to visit the 4 story abyss (Forever 21)

and the enormous happy-making factory (Coldstone)

I didn't just like it, or love it,

I got an Ours

for the "coolness impaired"

(thats what Coldstone calls those who don't get their sizing)

thats a whole quart....

of birthday cake remix love

and yes...I took pictures with my Coldstone shopping bag

on Times Square and in the Subway

yes, I was that elated

although I may have looked like a loopy ecstatic tourist,

should I have cared?

tourists are naive and happy

(which might be the perfect state of existence)

should I care that Coldstone fills my postmodern void?

apparently taking the place of relationships, morals and piety

(as the good ol' sociologist Lyotard taught me?)

nope,

I stashed my leftover ice cream behind a pile of frozen peaches

to elude any predators (ie. my brother)

and ate it over a few days while I watched Everybody Loves Raymond

ahh how postmodern: vicariously living through sitcoms,

and eating a branded, romanticized commodity

obviously, I've become delusional

unable to separate social theory readings and reality

either which way, that was the life,

now alls I have are 6 stale ice cream sandwiches

I stole from the dining hall

and a few more pages of my paper to write.

Cookie Time

I'm crazy for cookies

especially when they are colorful

and bursting with

sweet noms like raspberry & ice cream

here are some of my favorite

rainbow cookies from Rocco's on Bleecker

& cookie sandwiches from Milk & Cookies on Commerce Street

why are the best treats born in the West Village?

under the canopy of fire escapes, quaint buildings, and brick-face

Milk & Cookies is my favorite

because of the cute, warmth of the place, tucked in between old brownstones

the glass, communal water pitcher,

the cups full of brown sugar cubes and thick golden honey,

the happy array of flowers that greet passerbys,

but most of all, I love the cookie sandwiches and the love with which they are made

the perfect way that a scoop of creamy, dense ice cream is placed between

two huge, soft, cookies

and pressed to perfection, to make that ice cream spread all over the cookies

just 5 bucks of pure lusciousness

my particular ice cream sandwich love letter

was strawberry ice cream & macadamia nut cookies

it was a delicious masterpiece.

Photo Diary

Today was a best day

a long walk, famous gelato

from Cones on Bleecker

the hazelnut literally tastes like eating a Ferrero Rocher chocolate

and the white chocolate just blew my mind

it was expensive,

but oh so worth it to sit on a random stoop

with the 8 dollar cone dripping on my skirt

as I tried to get every last bit of white chocolate deliciousness

I also had my first slice of real (nonvegan) New York pizza since being home (nomlicious)

there was also an impromptu dance parade on St. Marks

and an unexpected street fair

(that was sadly all out of my fave Thai springrolls)

and lots of other beautiful sights

I don't think there is much that's better than cradling dumplings & beautiful architecture.

The Daily Cone

I think I need to start documenting

my obsessive, unhealthy, insane love affair with ice cream cones

so I am going to photograph every cone I have this summer

and it will be epic (for me at least)

because I was so deprived at school

and now I am free to love & eat

today I had a cone at home

nom nom banana split Turkey Hill froyo

and I ate it while watching Spongebob, so taking a picture slipped my mind

it's tricolor, banana with fudge swirl, chocolate with walnuts, and strawberries

best thing? it was on sale at Fine Fare for $3.24

I love cheap noms.

Carvel cake mix, with neon confetti in it, um this is one of the creamiest & best

gotta love the patriotic cone hugger

Pistachio almond

gotta love the matching nails

and my love of all things seafoam

since I was sitting in the window,

I got to see all the passerbys and their utter envy,

for I had an ice cream cone and they did not

the other day my uncle expressed his concern

about my vegetarianism and how I might not be getting

enough calcium & vitamin D

which may just mean I have to eat more ice cream

and if ice cream has vitamin D in it,

then it is like eating sunshine,

which totally explains why it makes me so happy.

Fruit, Finals, & Frustrations

So, it's study week for finals

and I'm pleasantly overwhelmed

overwhelmed to the point

where I'm on my sixth hour

of sitting in the Deec writing my Hemingway paper

it hurts

just 2 finals, one paper, and 120 more Art History flash cards to memorize

oh, and a Dada collage, great

I bought some used books for my English class this semester

and I don't think I will ever do that again

because you wind up with a book

that someone has decided to permanently scar,

with pen, and odd insights

like on page 36 of my The Sun Also Rises

the person who had it before me

felt it necessary to look up all the French slang and cultural allusions

and now I can always know, since its forever there in blue pen

that Zizi is "French slang for peepee", wonderful insight

I'm trying to relish in academia,

and she taints it with the word peepee, come on

on a better note, the other day

the Deec had real live fresh fruit

not your normal apples and bananas kids,

pineapple! and strawberries!

I was the loon with the two plates of pineapples

and nearly all of the strawberries

I was also the loon who turned into a thief

and stole a bowl of fruit so I can have some happiness in

my dark, dusty room

being bad feels so good sometimes

especially when you can eat a nice big slice of pineapple before going to bed

nom, and everyone knows I'm dangerous around strawberries

so no more must be said about them

om nom nom fruit

Also, I have a large bug to pick with Raymond Ave (the block right outside of Vassar)

there is absolutely no place to get an ice cream cone

a real life, sugar cone

gosh, it's a simple request

but I'm so over wafer cones

they taste like Catholic communion

and I don't want my ice cream to taste like church

so instead I got an italian ice from the pizza place

it was the next best thing

its not the same as home

where you get an icee from the same Puerto Rican man on Delancey

who you've been buying from since you were little

man, do I miss home

but this icee was delish

it tasted like a scoop of childhood

now only if I could have a slice of childhood: a slice of Elio's pizza

you know, the microwaveable kind

that was always on sale when I was younger

and I would put it into the toaster oven

and wait wait wait

then cut it into little cubes

and nom nom nom

I can't wait to go home

I have five more days till I'm free

then its 3 months of shopping, puppy time, Coney Island

oh, and mom-made omelets,

that's the best part.

Formula for the Perfect Day

At Vassar, the Leprechaun bus is the quintessential symbol of escapism

the mall, the train station, Stop & Shop

are the basic adventures that Leprechaun will make possible

and most of the time, that's just fine with me

because I usually just get my kicks from food shopping and browsing at H&M

but on Saturday, the Leprechaun bus came in jumbo size

with TVs that broadcasted Zoolander to take me to Six Flags

and so my perfect day began:

One super sized Leprechaun (or any available charter bus)

minus Vassar

plus awesome roller coasters

I love roller coasters almost more than anything else

a bit less than I love ice cream

but thats a whole lotta love

the more apprehensive I am to put my hands up,

the steeper the drops,

and the more terror involved

the better

what can I say? I'm just a simple thrill seeker

and that's why I love wooden roller coasters

they are the best because every second you feel like

some bolts and screws are going to loosen

and crash the little cart will go

plus Cookies & Cream Dippin Dots

I've said this a thousand times

but Dippin Dots are just to delish

and love them

over and over again forever

om nom nom

I told the girl working in the little Dippin Dots booth

that she had my dream job

and because it was 90 degrees

and she was wearing long khakis and a neon yellow polo

whilst working in a small box

she must have thought I was mocking her

I wasn't

plus Johnny Rockets onion rings

which are definitely the best I've ever had

especially because they come with ranch dipping sauce

and extra crunch

and they are never especially fat, gross slices of onions

at Six Flags the ranch came in packets and not in a small plastic cup

and at first I was disappointed

but! I realized they had many other condiments available

and I seriously love condiments

I literally had a condiment buffet with a side of onion rings

ranch, honey mustard, barbeque, sweet&sour

it was blissful

plus a large watermelon icee

which really speaks for itself

when its 90 degrees outside

and you've been waiting on lines for hours

plus a sweet dinner at an outdoor table

at Babycakes, its the best thing to eat outside at night

and let me tell you, the lemon thyme vinaigrette on some baby greens

is out of this world

and lastly, add Tom Poppa & The Marriage Ref

Tom Poppa has great suits, and an annoying laugh

its always funny to watch couples arguing about country line dancing,

not having enough sex, and odd home furnishings

plus, he does a great puppy impression

and that all equals a best day, and a very happy me.

31 Cent Scoop Not

Today is 31 cent scoop night at Baskin Robbins

and instead of standing on an incredibly long line

with 2 dimes, 2 nickels, and a penny

clenched in my hand

I'm in the library, at work

miles away from the nearest Baskin Robbins

and tubs of cookie dough, pistachio, and

strawberry cheesecake ice cream

instead, I'm eating a Sweet & Low mint

now let me tell you, that is not a fair trade off

in my heart I'm wishing for blackberry mocha chip

(no sugar added) ice cream

it's literally the best

it makes me feel like I'm strolling in a field full of puppies,

not exactly, but almost

the sad thing is

that all I have in my wallet is

14 cents,

a packet of Splenda,

and 8 bandaids.

Learning to Drive & Escaping Avant- Garde Torture

So there I was, sitting in the

art history lecture hall

watching odd avant garde films,

think race cars, scrotums,

claustrophobic uteran imagery,

a tap dancing satyr, and ambiguous

asexual creatures with pink wigs and drag queen makeup (seriously)

which is basically the most

disturbing thing

that could possibly be happening

to a fragile girl

who still needed to do the footnotes

on her Dutch art history research paper,

a sad, poor girl who did not know just how long making footnotes actually takes

we were confined to that room,

for 3 whole hours

a fate my friend just couldn't deal with

so she utters these magic words, "I'll take you to Cold Stone"

(basically, with these words anyone could get me to fall at their feet,

and be at their every whim like:

oh haiiii, will you wash the dishes?,

and mind you I do not wash dishes, but I'd gladly comply

oh, will you rub my feet? yessir! what scent of lotion would you like?

clearly I'm a sucker)

specifically she said "If we leave, I'll take you to Coldstone"

with that sentence, the bells and whistles went off in my head

and we broke out only an hour into the torture

under the piercing gaze of our banshee-esque professor

off to Cold Stone we went, to get Birthday Cake Remix

it felt so good to finally have real ice cream

that wasn't being squeezed out of a machine in the Deec

real, creamy, nom ice cream, it was heavenly to experience

brownies, sprinkles and cake batter ice cream all over again

I don't think there's any better food than ice cream

spaghetti, pad thai and omelets are almost as good

anyhow, after the ice cream my friend suggests that I get into the drivers seat

of her nice, shiny, new car

mind you, I have never sat in the driver's seat of a car

and even more importantly, have never put my hands on a steering wheel

she is crazy, but she tried to teach me how to drive

and dammit! it was difficult, I'm surprised most people

can think about that many things at once

look to the left, look to the right, check the mirrors, gas pedal, brake, merge into a turn

I also never knew that a car moves without you pressing the gas

which honestly was quite off putting and a bit troubling to me

and the steering wheel can be turned all the way around

it was a whole new world

my gosh, it was overwhelming

and sometimes my feet had trouble finding the gas

and I apparently have a British tendency to drive in the left lane

but nonetheless I drove, learned not how to break violently

and didn't crash into Men's Warehouse

I wasn't blasting My Humps

but at this rate, that dream is becoming a possibility.

Today Was Beautiful.

Today was beautiful,

it was the type of day that you can only enjoy

by eating a pistachio cone from Ray's Candy Store

and watching the pups

at the Tompkin's Square dog run

the shih tzus, bull dogs

or sitting on a tire swing at the back of the park

spinning, rocking, catching the ice cream drippings

before they slip onto your fingers

or sitting on the small hill

eating a Chocolate, or even better, a banana crunch Entenmann's cake,

preferably without utensils

with a side of green grapes

there was even a sun shower,

and I wish I was on Avenue A to enjoy it

I would stand at the bus stop

under the glass canopy

and watch the slinky buses go by

and the boys on their skateboards

and the girls on their bikes with baskets

and people eating slices of pizza on the go

and I would be happy.

The Golden Age of Ices, Childhood.

I have a research paper due in 4 days

about the Golden Age,

and at this point I feel utterly incapable

I can't really tell you about Ovid's Golden Age

but I can tell you about mine,

it involved a lot of these:

Marino's Italian ices,

apparently kids in the Midwest didn't eat these

apparently kids in the parts of the Midwest don't even have ice cream trucks

how did children live, that sounds like dystopia

but I sure as hell know that all kids in the city loved these

as soon as the temperature creeped above 60 degrees

and out parents would finally let us out of our

awkwardly colored puffy jackets

(I had a red one, probably a silver one too, and they were both ugly as hell)

we could finally run to the candy store and buy an icee (icy, ice)

and it came with the small wooden spoon

which always made it special

eating it at home with a metal spoon never cut it

that was perfect for shaving off little mountains of icee,

probably cherry flavor

cherry was the best, rainbow was also always delish

(they apparently come in chocolate also, which is tickling my fancy right about now)

I remember I would always scrape around it

hoping to get it loose

so that I could strategically flip it over,

which sometimes resulted in the sidewalk

enjoying more of my icee than I did

but after a few spills

my virtuosity grew

and I was able to effortlessly flip the icee over

and scrape all the really icy, super concentrated cherry, gooey, sticky lovely mess

off of the bottom, and it was truly the best part

whilst working on eating the icee, some would melt

and you would be left with a small sip

of cherry juice at the end

and it was just so satisfying

afterward,

my little chemically red stained lips

would just smile, so refreshed and so content.

For other people who are super nostalgic and remember that yummy stuff at the bottom

I found this on the Marino's website

WHY DOES THAT SUGARY FORMATION OCCUR ON THE BOTTOM OF THE CUP?

• The sugary formation on the bottom of the cup is what many claim to be the best accident to happen to ices! The sugary formation occurs when there is an elapse of time from the moment the ices are put into their cups to the moment they are packaged and sent into the freezers. We had thought to freeze our ices quicker to eliminate the sugary formation but most of our consumers enjoyed it so much, they have asked us to make an entire cup filled with just the sugary formation.

yes please to a whole gallon of that!

now I'm totally craving

all the good eats of my childhood,

the frozen, sugary ones at least

count me in to anything messy, preferably with bubblegum.

Classics on a Gloomy Day

I'm sick,

like wake up at 3:14 am and walk to the bathroom to blow my nose

and get a drink of water because my throat hurts so much sick

like sleep with a roll of toilet paper and Vicks under my pillow

because I've lost all normal function in my nose sick,

it's not a pretty sight when coupled with the downpour

that has plagued Poughkeepsie for the last two days

but I've found joy in other things today

the Classics,

well, at least the classics as I know them

which obviously involve food and nostalgia

since that is essentially what I'm made of

today I had cornflakes for breakfast

good ol cornflakes, which I sliced a banana into

and it made my morning just a bit better

that and the fact that my sociology professor

played the "smooth mellow beats" of LL Cool J

while bopping along to the beat in class today and doing an

almost fist pump

it was a beautiful sight

anyhow, the cornflakes were so great because they are a classic

it was definitely the first cereal I ever had

ask any Hispanic about cornflakes,

and they'll share that intimate connection that I have

"ahhh yes" they will say "con-flay"

just the way my grandma would say

just the way their grandma would have said it

"con-flay", and from then on all cereal comes to be known as "con-flay"

Cocoa Pebbles?:"con-flay", Lucky Charms?: "con-flay",

Raisin Bran?:"con-flay"

don't get me wrong, I love Cocoa Pebbles as much as the next person,

probably more (since I'm obsessed with cereal)

but Corn Flakes reigns supreme, like the rooster says "original and best"

yummmmers

with two big spoons of sugar and small banana slices,

what great texture

I've moved on to bigger and better things

like 3 packets of Splenda in my cereal instead of real sugar

(also obsessed with Splenda, I consume about 6 packets a day)

but the Corn Flakes have stayed true to me, yummy, satisfying and classic

like Strawberry Shortcake ice cream pops

I was totally craving one today

the mix of those little crumbs, and the chemical pink ice cream enveloped by the vanilla

on the inside simply makes me smile like a little girl again

sadly, Vassar does not keep its ice cream machine well stocked (boo)

and I had to settle for what I thought was a classic ice cream pop

like this ^, with that hard chocolate shell and soft vanilla inside

that just reminds me of Astoria Park, rolling down hills, and climbing trees by the East River

but the ice cream machine failed me once more!

false advertising, I got a fudge pop instead,

no smooth chocolate shell, no mushy vanilla ice cream inside

I was defeated, eating it on my way back to my dorm

grumpily reflecting on the lack of vanilla in my life

when, alas! I found that the sad little fudge pop had a vanilla center!

and at that point I felt simply triumphant

I miss Flinstone push up pops

they were orange and purple, and simply delish

ah to return to the 90s

when the freezer was always stocked with various freeze pops and treats,

frozen pizzas and TV dinners with the brownie on the side

now all I have in my freezer is a frozen burrito and 3 dumplings, sad

it was always so hard to push that thin plastic handle up when it was still freshly open

it took patience, but was so worth it

then the orange would melt down the cardboard sides of the pop

and create sticky hands,

that reminds me of summer

sticky hands always made it easier to show off on the monkey bars

Push pops, jump ropes, jungle gyms, Razor scooters and climbing rocks

sounds so good right now in this late March chill

when all I can think about is declaring a major, and planning out the next four years of my life

with this background noise about Russian Futurism and Post-Futurism

all I know is that I'm living post-90s and I'm not liking it one bit.

Back from my Hiatus: Inspirations

Well,

Spring Break is over

the city was an oasis for the last two weeks

which explains my blogging hiatus

the 6 hour walks from my house to

Union Square, to Soho and the West Village

and back again sort of wore me out

seeing as the most exercise I get at Vassar

is walking to the Deec, or maybe to the Krafted Cup

to fill up on coffee, it's just plain sad

anyhow, I'm back home

again

I just couldn't resist, break did end a mere 4 days ago

but it still feels so good to be sitting at the kitchen table

eating a bowl of Pops (yummers)

anyone else wonder why the cereal bag for Pops is silver?

I must solve this mystery

I must also report that my Lent promise is over

because my mom baked a pistachio cake some time ago

with yellow cake mix, a pack of pistachio pudding

and topped it with confectioner's sugar

my life was amazing when I ate those

2 and a half slices of cake

and was still good when the immense stomach ache set in

but now, I'm being a good girl

waiting for my mom to make me some fruit salad

(if only I had some kiwis)

anyhow, since I'm home I'm feeling the love and even though

spring was just torn away from me

(today was 37 degrees) and I was wearing shiny leggings

that absorb the cold and make me just about feel

worse than being naked in a snowstorm

oh, and open toe cage shoes

after the walk my little toes were numb

and I suffered all the way down Houston

boo at this cold front!

speaking of Houston

one beautiful day over Spring Break

I was probably on my way to get

mocha blackberry swirl no sugar ice cream

from Dunkin Donuts (my new ultimate ice cream obsession, which is probably a lie,

seeing as I'm also obsessed with Love Potion #31

which seems to have been discontinued,

and Bananas Foster & Red Velvet Cake ice cream from Two Boots,

and Sinless Cake Batter from Coldstone,

and Turkey Hill Party Cake

basically I'm obsessed with any ice cream, so sad

and if you could not tell, I haven't had ice cream in a long time

and am suffering from a nasty bout of withdrawal, talk of vices over now)

so on Houston, I saw this:

and I thought it was quite funny

since god knows this model is not convincing me to

buy this sad sweater and boyfriend jeans combo

and this little inspirational, maybe aggressive

but inspirational all the same

put smile on my face

and reminded me that cake and ice cream

could benefit us all

the next day the message was gone

and I was surprised someone even bothered to change the picture

and was sort of angry at the censorship

until I saw this on Grand Street:

and I was elated to see people trying to spread the good

nutrition and literacy,

isn't that all we kids need nowadays?

with Snapple machines being taken out of schools

and bake sales being scaled down to just Poptarts and Doritos

this was just a beautiful message

but I was confused as to which came first

the sadly spelled "arrested" or the inspirational message

its a chicken and the egg conundrum

because they are both written in orange chalk

and how many people carry orange chalk around in their pockets?

to my dismay, it was removed the next day

just a plain shame, because after seeing this

I came home and read The Sound & The Fury

anyhow, these messages are what a

psalms book written by the Bad Girl's Club would be like

I'd buy it.

New Year, New Woe: The Death of Penny Licks

Dear 2010,

2009 was particularly shitty

and I had some hope for what you were bringing to the table,

after celebrating New Years with 

pina coladas & the Puerto Rican masterpiece of a concoction: coquito

I thought that maybe you were on my side,

I thought wrong because 

ruin came to my holidays

Penny Licks is closed, for good

I get unusually attached to cutesy, kitsch 

dessert joints in my favorite neighborhoods

my first love was Sugar Sweet Sunshine

the best cupcake shop nestled on Rivington

where the pistachio cupcakes are to die for

and the soft, falling apart array of arm chairs

just suck you in

last year, around the New Year it was closed for a week

My heart sunk at the thought of its demise

no more Bob cupcakes with 

chocolate almond icing and no more strawberry cupcakes with sweet

cream cheese icing and 

heart sprinkles that gave me butterflies

luckily, I was not aware of their vacation period that fell right around Christmas, and my 

heart's joy was fulfilled when I could once again relish in their cupcakes galore

I loved this little place so much

I wrote about it in my Vassar college application & took my interviewer there

I like to think she loved me for me, but she might have just been wooed by the

decadent pumpkin cupcake I ordered for her 

anyway,

my life is ruined, for Penny Licks has left me

Williamsburg is weeping

the days of stopping in after hitting up my favorite vintage stores & the Salvation army 

are OVER

no more tiny, one dollar cones in assorted vegan flavors

that are actually better than real ice cream

or towering, lumpy scoops of vegan cookie dough 

topped high on a simple sugar cone

to scoop up with my vegan banana chocolate chip oatmeal cookie

yes, I said it: banana chocolate chip oatmeal cookie

a huuuuuuge award worthy cookie with fat chocolate chips and 

great banana flavor

my heart is sobbing at the mere memory

all I ever needed was a new pair of boots, a beautiful cone and a lumpy cookie and I was set

now where will I find that same love?

absolutely nowhere

never will I be able to soothe my ice cream craving & vintage obsession at the same time

so my verdict is that life sucks

and the world is going to the goons

that's the only way I can describe my feelings

because if I cannot have tasty vegan treats at my heart's desire

what can I have?

surely not happiness.