My Love Affair with William Faulkner

So I was just in the shower thinking 

about my next blog post

following my strict regimen of shampoo, conditioner, brush teeth, soap, rinse hair

or so I thought...

in my excitement to blog I was conditioning my hair

and could not remember whether or not I shampooed it

which is ridiculous, an 18 year old should not be experiencing that sort of memory loss

nonetheless, I shampooed and conditioned all over again, just in case

and I promise myself never to let blogging cloud my rationality or memory ever again

now, lets get to the goods:

amidst the tragedy of going back to school comes the misery of buying new books

I mean, I'm super excited for my classes

quick summary: American Modernism, art history, 

17th century Flemish painting, & Alice in Wonderland

yes, sounds amazing but the bill for my books doesn't

so I moseyed on over to Strand to buy books for my English class

which actually was a complete joy, because Faulkner is on my reading list

yes ladies and gents...William Faulkner, the one of the ultimate loves of my life

I know some girls swoon over abs, and charm 

but what really makes my heart beat is beautiful prose

throw me some sensuous imagery & a lush metaphor 

and basically you got me 

which is why I love Faulkner

with his Southern Charm, thick mustache, and pensive gaze, 

I'm just hooked

what can I say? he even makes tweed look good

and everyone already knows my thoughts on tweed...that vile fabric

anyway, in all his mustachioed glory Faulkner is my man 

so there I was, sitting on the couch, watching back to back episodes of True Life 

all tutu-ed and floral-printed out reading The Sound & the Fury,

just in heaven,

transported to the South amidst moral decay

then, I dropped my book and it opened to page 125

and a certain sentence seemed to glow on the page

I swear the sunlight was streaming through the window 

like it was Christ's second coming or something

and I read that lovely sentence 

"Her face was like a cup of milk dashed with coffee in the sweet warm emptiness"

there it is, that is romantic, that is love

that is a bouquet of roses and a love poem and a dinner for two wrapped up into one sentence

and that is why I am in love

...it sounds like I really miss English class

so shoot me, maybe I do

but I'd much rather conduct English class from my couch with my fleece robot blanket.

A Fantasy [Noms Edition]

Pad Thai might be the food of the gods

I don't know if that would make Thailand heaven

but they sure do have elephants there

so it might as well be heaven

and if Thailand was heaven 

then God? would ride a golden elephant 

and have an entourage of leopards

as he sits holding a large pot of pad thai

I would hope he eats it with his hands

when you're God chopsticks must be overrated

I'd love to be his right hand lime girl

I'd squeeze ample lime juice in his noodles to

you know

amp up the flavor

then maybe he'd offer me some

and I'd sit in heaven surrounded by bean sprouts, 

noodles, peanuts, and little bits of tofu

I'd wear a dress made out of lime rinds

and I'd smell like spring...

or just lots of limes

That is the fantasy I have every time I go to a Thai restaurant

as I sit drinking my cup of water (I'm too cheap to buy a soda)

maybe dipping some supple little dumplings into soy sauce

making sure to eat all the pieces of chives left at the bottom of the sauce

waiting for spring rolls

pockets of joy

and when the Pad Thai arrives

I'm on that elephant with God

in that lime rind dress

even though green is not my color.

[dedicated to Aiden who can come to Thai heaven too, except in a lemon rind loincloth]