Christmas Reflections

So, Christmas was pretty great

minus the few times I was subject to the horrors

of Christmas music,

yes, I hate it, call me a scrooge

whatevz, Christmas is about way more than 

cheesy songs about sexing up Santa, his lane

and the like

the only Christmas song I enjoy is Last Christmas

preferably the Ashley Tisdale version, 

that is truly all

I could listen to her sing it all year round

I'll quickly sum up my Christmas:

Tofurky [God's greatest creation]

Colombian songs to Baby Jesus

mountains of tulle

lots of lace

velvet ruffled heels

floral print 

bows

grandma earrings

teacups

pearls                         

gold

antiques

& Saraswati: my Hindu goddess

she's just so fabulous

and she guides me in my educational ventures 

I got a hand carved pendant of her

with various arms, instruments 

and long flowing mermaid hair

she is naked

with large breasts,

looking like a sexy porn star:

that's my kind of goddess

she looks hardly like the demure & reserved goddess here

she is a bombshell, but nonetheless very amazing and helpful 

she likes candy offerings very much

so I keep her satisfied with lots of Tootsie Roll Pops & other goodies

anyhow, I thank Religion 152-01

Religions of Asia, for introducing me to her glory

I also thank Forever 21

for being so good to me this Christmas. 

Skinned Knees & the 90s: Part Deux [The Spill]

So, picking up from the nauseating

but still slightly beautiful resurgence of the 90s 

me & Monica continued shopping, 

braving the ugly filth covering the crowded sidewalks in Soho

to go to H&M, where the sale racks were beautiful and the tight spandex shirt that Monica got 

was even better

so good that Monica continued to proclaim that the slush will be the downfall of her 

reassuring herself with statements like "well at least if i fall I have another skirt to put on"

me & Monica slipped down each curb, looking for each clear patch 

and then Monica met her predicted fate

taking a beautiful hot mess spill

 in a street on Broadway

her bad luck could not even wait until she got to a sidewalk, nope she was going down, right there, in a pile of sludge

thank god it was a red light

because I cannot afford to lose my best friend

so close to Christmas

before we even got to cook and make margaritas

plus, she bakes the best Christmas cookies,

and I have yet to had any, so she could not leave me just yet

so she fell, everything happened so fast

next thing I know she's on the ground, still looking cute in a purple spandex skirt, gray suede slouchy boots, lacey tights, and knee highs 

[props on the cuteness Monica]

the slush splashed, covering her coat, all her shopping bags, boots and hands

it was a pretty tragedy

but Monica recovered quite glamorously

she wiped away the blood on her knees 

as the blood formed the pattern of her lace tights

yes, my best friend bleeds fashionably

that's the way it should be done

so like a diva, Monica changed into a new skirt and boots, in an Au Bon Pain

inciting a riot of sorts on the waiting line

yes, Au Bon Pain became our personal emergency room

and as Monica's knee bled and all her bags were ruined,

she looked up at me and said

"I just feel so glamorous right now"

and that is why she is my best friend.