The Best Day of My Life

It's been a while, 

and I've been feeling a bit uninspired

which means I've been getting all my readings done and going to bed at decent times

but after my weekend I feel chock full of 

blogging inspiration,

but most of all, because today was nearly one of the best days....ever

my humble little trip to Stop & Shop today, proved out to be

one of the best shopping experiences of my life

and thats saying a whole lot, for me anyways

let me just cut to the chase, 

I love Dippin Dots,

its a crazy, inexplicable, dangerous love affair

between me and the scrumptious, temporal little spheres of coldness and sweet sensation

this love affair has been raging for years, my heart swells with elation 

every time I visit and amusement park, knowing that for about 6 bucks I could

taste the most innovative and delish morsels ever 

my mouth waters just thinking of the cookies and cream 

with the Oreo pieces, or the Birthday Cake flavor which I first experienced 

in Universal Studios after a bout of crying 

my best friend Monica did not try to calm my tears, but instead 

she bought me the big size of Birthday Cake Dippin Dots, to consume all by myself

now that's the best friend you could ever have

no hugs, just Dippin Dots, ah how well she knows me

my tears instantly dried up and I just kept on truckin' 

with my pink, yellow, blue, and white pastel ice cream bits

right on to the Jurassic Park ride I went, happy as a clam you could say

anyhow, I'm just hooked

I love amusement parks, roller coasters, thrills, spills, waterslides,  and lazy rivers

but what makes the whole experience worth it, is the Dippin Dots

so there I was in Stop & Shop walking down each aisle

getting grapefruits, strawberries, lots of cereal, and other great items

when in the ice cream section I stumbled upon Itti Bitz

individual servings of Dippin Dots.................for the low price of ONE DOLLAR!!!!

there is where I died, gathering cookies and cream, cookie dough, and neapolitan 

to eat in the comfort of my dorm

I screamed about how jealous Monica would be

for she is one of the few who shares my odd affinity for these frozen treats

I felt like I won a million dollars, 

waiting for the shuttle back to school I was beaming

calling my mother to tell her the good news

never again will I have to wait to go to Six Flags,

no roller coaster or water slide necessary for this thrill

life got even better though,

I also found 79 cent DIET GRAPE SODA!

the second best find of my life

seeing as I love love love grape soda

and have not had it in years

I felt like God really loved me today,

I didn't even get ashes last week

and as I boarded the shuttle

bags of wonder in tow,

sun shining through the window, warming my hair

Bad Romance began playing on the radio

dancing in my seat with my Gaga claws was

a beautiful end to my blissful trip. 

Skinned Knees & the 90s: Part Deux [The Spill]

So, picking up from the nauseating

but still slightly beautiful resurgence of the 90s 

me & Monica continued shopping, 

braving the ugly filth covering the crowded sidewalks in Soho

to go to H&M, where the sale racks were beautiful and the tight spandex shirt that Monica got 

was even better

so good that Monica continued to proclaim that the slush will be the downfall of her 

reassuring herself with statements like "well at least if i fall I have another skirt to put on"

me & Monica slipped down each curb, looking for each clear patch 

and then Monica met her predicted fate

taking a beautiful hot mess spill

 in a street on Broadway

her bad luck could not even wait until she got to a sidewalk, nope she was going down, right there, in a pile of sludge

thank god it was a red light

because I cannot afford to lose my best friend

so close to Christmas

before we even got to cook and make margaritas

plus, she bakes the best Christmas cookies,

and I have yet to had any, so she could not leave me just yet

so she fell, everything happened so fast

next thing I know she's on the ground, still looking cute in a purple spandex skirt, gray suede slouchy boots, lacey tights, and knee highs 

[props on the cuteness Monica]

the slush splashed, covering her coat, all her shopping bags, boots and hands

it was a pretty tragedy

but Monica recovered quite glamorously

she wiped away the blood on her knees 

as the blood formed the pattern of her lace tights

yes, my best friend bleeds fashionably

that's the way it should be done

so like a diva, Monica changed into a new skirt and boots, in an Au Bon Pain

inciting a riot of sorts on the waiting line

yes, Au Bon Pain became our personal emergency room

and as Monica's knee bled and all her bags were ruined,

she looked up at me and said

"I just feel so glamorous right now"

and that is why she is my best friend.

Skinned Knees & the 90s [The Noms]

Once upon a time there were two princesses 

who were beasts for corn, Monica & Alyssa :]

and they went to galavant through Soho

and spend all their money

the snow was piled high and the slush was dangerous

Alyssa slipped and slid through Chinatown eating a sponge cake 

[one of gods greatest creations]

as Monica browsed in Old Navy,

they were both ready for an adventure

anyways, forget the fairy tale

Chinatown may be the worst place to be when there is a foot of snow and 

ten tons of ugly gray slush all over the place

and there is no way the city could look uglier than it does now

slush is just so depressing even when you're eating a delectable light fluffy cake

but all the slipping and sliding was worth Monica and the corn

so after gossiping & lamenting in Steven Madden 

we set out to Cafe Habana on Prince Street, the place where dreams come true

Zagat calls it a "groovy" Nolita "hole-in the wall"

man do I love the Zagat

so squeezed in to the Habana outpost, where the line extended to the cold outside the door

me & Monica got grilled corn on skewers, prepared classically Mexican 

with tons of crumbly cheese and chili powder

and bubbly, pink guava soda

real authentic, out of a glass bottle

just a squeeze of lime, and the corn was ready to be nommed

it was delicious

and all the chili powder made my lips burn

and sorta swell, but its worth it 

worth all the cheese crumbles that littered my lap

the tranny lips and smudged lipstick

boy do me & Monica love corn

but what do me & Monica love possibly more than corn you ask?

the 90s

and they are truly making a comeback

but I'm not quite sure I'm prepared for that

I mean, I'm not even twenty yet

my childhood wasn't that long ago for it to be trendy yet

but apparently Forever 21 thinks it should be

so while I was browsing in Urban Outfitters, elsewhere there was a 90s explosion

I mean, I don't even know what I prefer,

the ugly tweeds in Urban

could anything make you look fatter than tweed?

or the Crayola colored cropped fur jackets

circa the late 90s, think Britney & Christina at the Grammys

I saw a particularly revolting purple one

and I can't forget the butterfly tops and the dresses with cutouts

if I saw anyone in these, I would simply die

I love nostalgia and all

but that is just taking it to another level

next thing you know, 

platform sneakers are going to be in again.